VLOGMAS DAY 5 || + mental health update

*bacon sizzling* *egg cracking* *cracking pepper* ou this is my favourite okay minus the bun this is my favourite breakfast to have i got my vitamin C we got some broccoli, i don’t know why we got some broccoli we got some tomato and cucumber and we got cute mommy! we’re having breakfast – brunch together and then we’re running some errands today yay i’m gonna bring you along this is my makeup today. i actually tried for once i actually put on makeup and then we got our… 70’s glasses *mom talking to herself in the background* yeah, it’s fine mom’s like talking in the background this is our little OOTD simple, basic vintage vibes, but not super super vintage we got a little… maybe 70’s? maybe 60’s? skirt’s kinda 60’s this is like 80’s/90’s boots are like, what? 90’s. glasses are like 80’s we just got a blend of a lot of different time periods *jamming to typical radio station pop music* *breathin’ by ariana grande plays* “I keep on drinkin” hahaha IT WORKS! SPONSORED BY IT WORKS! it’s so nice out, guys it is december in toronto and when it’s above freezing, you’re wearing nothing basically like you’re wearing bikinis outside in the winter when it’s not snowing it’s literally 10 degrees celsius and i was like “hey, i’m gonna wear fall clothing because that’s fall weather” for canada Mom – look at this guy in the middle of the street, girl in the middle of the street on the bicycle
Keara – so i’m wearing a leather jacket Mom – pick a side! with that nose up in the air!!! Mom – did you see her nose? no! she had this… the snarly nose going on! i could see up her nostrils into her brain! YOU’RE a snarly nose! i could see up her – she and i could see right in, up to her brain i don’t know why she was like this, on her – judgemental, much? but why are you in my way? Keara – true
Mom – don’t post that!! hahahahaha people! people, everywhere i love people she clearly does where am i going? oh. where are we going now? Mom – the big carrot! THE BIG CARROT! well they have a juice bar there so i’m gonna get a juice that’s why i’m coming, that’s literally the only reason i’m coming Mom – i’m getting a bean sprouter! health. folks. health. i just got off the phone with my friend ryley he’s a photographer, he takes like all of my pictures for instagram but um, yeah he’s in LA right now just doing his thing, i’m really proud of him and i love how often he calls me to like just update me on what’s going on cuz i feel like some of my friends don’t really do that. i don’t really do that. but it’s so sweet that he’s always keeping me in the loop on what’s going on shoutout to ryley, i love you ah! i’m just sitting here drinking health, because life is important. this is avocado, date, macha, spinach, coconut water, and then i added MCT oil which is like a healthy fat it helps in energy, and digestion, it’s really good for you i feel like everyone’s listening to me right now actually, no, people are doing their own thing i’m fairly new to vlogging so it’s still very awkward for me to vlog in public because people are looking at me like “what the hell are you doing?” just talking to your phone i feel obnoxious sometimes, but i’ll get over it aw! i love all the christmas lights! *That I Miss You by Vansire playing* *PLASTIC by sakehands playing* ohhhh! this is a banger! *Hot Hands by Darius playing* do you ever just have dance parties by yourself though, in your house alone? i do every single day it’s so fun except i need to focus! i was supposed to record like 3 videos today and i did not do 1 single one well, i did this video but i kinda want sushi first – hello!
– thank you! – you’re welcome, have a good night
– you too ha ha ha haaaa! okay i just filmed my first video do you wanna see how i do my thumbnails? so i don’t have anyone to take the picture for me so i have my camera here. i focus it i focus it on myself and then i put it on a self timer *beeping* and then i just have to stay in the exact same position and then do the thumbnail ready? *camera shutter* yass! i’m frustrated my mic keeps popping like, or it’ll crackle in the middle of the take, and sometimes it’ll crackle a lot and then i can’t use the take and i don’t know what i’m doing wrong if you guys know how to fix mics, or if you might know what’s going on here can you comment below? because this has been happening for like a couple months now and sometimes i’m lucky and it doesn’t pop and sometimes it does pop and it’s not like a pop as in, i need a pop filter it like – it’s almost like static or little like *click noises* clicks, ya know? it’s really frustrating so i’m hoping i can do this cover without it clicking i’m gonna call sarah and see if she knows how to fix my mic cuz i really wanna be productive! “pretty mama sews…” “stitches into all your b*tches broken hearts… you can pretend you don’t — ” *sigh* i wish i didn’t have anxiety like i know i’m a lot better than i was last year or two years ago and i don’t have an ongoing disorder anymore… it’s not gone like i don’t think it’s ever gonna be gone cuz like right when i think i’m doing really well i have like, a relapse almost also i feel like there’s something about this weather change that is not good for my depression i used to get depression in the winter and i haven’t for the past – last winter, i didn’t last winter and sometimes i get really scared that i’m gonna have it again this winter but i’m just gonna keep… keep checking in on myself, making sure that i’m not getting stuck in any more bad brain habits, you know? i think you just have to check in with yourself sometimes i catch my heart beating really fast and i’m like “what’s going on? like why is this happening right now?” like everything seems to be fine, but my brain — just the littlest things trigger me like as much as i’m getting a lot better in terms of my mental health, it doesn’t mean it’s always gonna be gone and it’s always gonna be perfect it comes back from time to time, and recently it’s been coming back often, but… like i said, i feel like i’m grateful that this is the thing i struggle with because a lot of people struggle with much worse things like much worse, chronic things so, you gotta count your blessings even though it’s frustrating sometimes cuz it’s just like, why can’t i just be in a good headspace right now? why do i have to be freaking out about something that’s not even happening? today was a good day i hung out with my mom, i got sushi i vlogged i got some covers – some videos done for YouTube my cover ended up sounding okay, like there was a couple crackles in it but it’s not that bad i hope you don’t notice it anyway that’s it for tonight i’m just gonna maybe edit one video and then maybe watch netflix, or read, or meditate or all of the above and then go to bed goodnight 🙂

64 thoughts on “VLOGMAS DAY 5 || + mental health update

  1. This was a v cozy n sweet vlog, i really appreciated the talk at the end and ik its not something people always want to speak about, but thank u for being comfortable enough w us. For sharing something we can relate to. Now ik i need to start practicing good health and habits to remind myself it'll b ok. That i have to check in with myself. ??

  2. Where did you get those glasses? They’re so cute ugh and your style in general. I want you as my personal stylist ? I struggle with my style most of the time and it’s so stressful. I’m so indecisive and insecure ?

  3. Is there ANY chance you dropped the microphone at all? Cuz it could be that. I was also thinking maybe you need a pop filter but if not, it could be something inside that's 'causing that noise. If you're singing directly into it, maybe the air hits whatever that thing is and creates the static/crackle noise you're talking about.

  4. thank you for always being honest and true to yourself! hearing u talk about ur mental health actually does make a real impact on me since i’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression, although it’s unfair for anyone to have to go through that, it’s nice to know i’m not completely alone ?✨ also this was such a cute vlog !!!!

  5. thank you for being so open about your mental health, it’s rly helpful and makes me feel less alone. anxiety is tough and seasonal depression is very real and it sucks but the good thing about it is that it gets better. also, on an unrelated note your mom is so pretty aw! you two look a lot alike

  6. patiently waiting for you and Sarah to do another video together because I love you guys and am so inspired by you guys and y'all are just so cuteee

  7. You are so inspirational and interesting to watch. I have a lot of anxiety as well, and watching you stay productive even with your mental health setbacks keeps me motivated and strong. I’m glad you’re doing more vlog type videos, I’m always happy to see you in my subscription feed

  8. You’re such a beautiful person! I love how honest and true to yourself you are. It seems rare these days. I think your videos make me feel like I’m not alone in being Bisexual, and having depression, etc… thank you ??

  9. Sending you lots of love Keara. I really appreciate your openness in regards to mental health, it’s good for you and for other people to hear. I struggle with anxiety too and I fear the next time I’ll have bad anxiety but just like you said check ins will help! I’m so happy to see your growth, know that you’re doing so good 🙂

  10. "I wish I didn't have anxiety" Girl I can completely relate. Life is so hard and even though we can't change what happens to us, we can control how we react. I had a horrible breakdown a for like 2 weeks of stress and anxiety on my shoulders and I found something that worked for me. Everytime I was worried, or scared for the future I would say recite the Jesus prayer which is "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me." While walking to class, in between bites, in my head while talking to other people and it really calmed me down. It made me realize that I am not alone. The God of the universe loves me and has my best interest in mind. He wants me to thrive and be healthy and happy, filled with joy even when there seems to be no joy. He gladly takes the pain and burdens away and replaces it with peace and joy. For me, it was simply constant communication with Jesus that worked, but for you it could be meditation, or riding a bike, or having someone close to you just hold you in a ball and scratch your back. You don't have to stay in any state, you can live your best life now. I hope this was encouraging. Praying that you live your best life with joy. You got this girl.

  11. just remember you are incredible and everything about you is just amazing and that's not even the 1st reason why i think of you as my role model, just know that you aren't facing this alone!! People like me, and fellow subscribers…. we have your back!!!

  12. Omg you talking about your "relapse" with anxiety and depression is so relatable to me. I'm in a so much better and happier place now, but sometimes anxiety just kicks in again and i can not help it. It's hard an really tiring. Also how you said that this weather affects your mental health, that is seriously what i've been dealing with lately.

  13. It could be friction? My headphones have that same crackling noise sometimes from static electricity/friction from my scarf.

  14. "Right when I think I'm doing well, I'll have a relapse"
    This is my mental health explained in a sentence. Currently working to document the better days again, but it's hard to always come off like I'm healed. The reality is, the shitty days feel shitty…but you're right, consistently remembering your blessings is key.

  15. I know exactly what you mean regarding the anxiety and it means so much to me to hear someone else talk about it so I know I'm not alone, maybe you can feel the same? Hang in there, babe, we got this!

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