Is Suicide a Choice?


Hey everybody, happy Thursday Now today’s question actually comes from YouNow. Have you been on YouNow? Have you watched me live? You should come hang out. It’s super fun and I try to do at least one to two a week. To hang out with my wonderful Kinions, and answer as many questions of yours that I can. And this question I actually answered a little bit in the live stream, but everybody wanted to talk about it more. So lets get down to it. And the question is: Hey Kati, is suicide a choice? And there are a lot of different thoughts on this, and I actually spent quite a bit of time just kind of considering this question and all of the implications of it. The truth about it is if we are going to attempt suicide we have to take action, right? We have to do something. So we are making the choice to take that action. However, I don’t believe that we’re of sound mind to do that. When we work in a hospital situation or even in a therapy setting, when I have people sign an informed consent or any consent form or any release, they have to be of sound mind for it to actually mean anything. For instance, when you conserve someone who is mentally ill or really really sick and unable to make decisions for themselves they say they are not mentally capable of making of making the decisions and therefore they have their family members or loved ones or a ward of the state do that for them. And so with regard to suicide, I would argue that we are not of sound mind therefore we are not really able to make a choice for ourselves. And I know that you can disagree. That’s completely fine. Those are just my thoughts about it, because I think when it comes to suicide and we feel that hopeless and that lonely we often can’t see any other options. We’ll negate positive things that are happening and focus instead on the negative. We’re not actually mentally able to make a full educated choice. We don’t have all the information because our brain really won’t allow it and our depression and suicidal thoughts just can’t allow us to do it. And so if you are struggling with suicide I have a ton of videos I’ll put in the description. About creating a safety plan for yourself, prior to feeling the need to attempt suicide. I have ways to talk about it with family. I have ways to know how to reach out for help. I have a ton of videos. I’ll link them all in the description. Because the thing that I want you to at least hear in this whole video is that: when we’re in that dark. helpless, hopeless place, we actually can’t even see the positive and the real things that are happening. We’re focusing only on the negative. And so I hope that you will reach out; before making that step and that choice to commit suicide. There are people available to help you. You’re not alone, things can get better. So please check out those videos. Please share this video. I think there is a lot of misconceptions and a lot of misunderstandings about suicide. And also leave in the comments your thoughts. We are just learning together right. This is just my experience and my thoughts about it. But I would love to hear yours. And I would love to hear what you think about suicide being a choice or not. I love you all, and I will see you on YouNow soon. Follow me on twitter. I always post there about it. And if you are new to my channel, click here to subscribe. And like I said there are more videos about this topic, so click over there and check those out. And I will see you soon. Bye.

100 thoughts on “Is Suicide a Choice?

  1. I wish Robin Williams didn't have to hang himself because I wonder what happens after a violent suicide. Do you get trapped in a nighmare? I mean he did hit the wall of some sort being as old as he was. I don't like people to be hurt.

  2. I struggle with this. I have been depressed since a very very young age. It is difficult to see a life where I am not sad about something. I always am still grieving when another traumatic event happens. I have taken meds, I have gone to therapy consistently. Yet I still feel like I am in the same place. There are seasons where people say they have had bouts of depression, but I feel so alone because few know what it is like to not even know what is like to not go through a traumatic life event over and over and still be expected to perform at the level of those who haven't.

  3. Kati thank you for your videos. I like your outlook on suicide as a choice. I feel like the way you explain it helps others understand when someone does have a suicide attempt or commit suicide that they are not in a place where they see hope, or other options. Thank you. <3

  4. I completely agree with you. An individual is making a choice, technically yes, but I don't feel that they're thinking clearly or in the right mindset. I think that once depression and feeling hopeless takes over then that's how people die by suicide. (My soapbox: Everyone should try to say "died by suicide" instead of "committed" because it's putting a very negative connotation on in as if someone was breaking a law. These individuals were just very ill.)

  5. I don't think it can be a solid answer fits all, just my opinion, and choice or not, the important part is if we are where we are, we hopefully don't stay in that place. I think by making suicide fit in a box of choice or not, we're then in realms of the blame game.
    My respectful thoughts, does it matter? What matters is when you feel that pain, you get help.
    Nothing but love-ex's and oh's-Soph xo

  6. If I have an ED, but I only restrict should I tell my dentist and/or orthodontist? I feel like that would be really embarrassing if I overshare

  7. During the moments I was dangerously close to it, it was like i was not even in control of my own actions. Like I almost couldn't stop myself. eugh. bad memory.

  8. Also, to have suicidal ideations is not a choice! I have never been in this situation but I understand that for some people the thoughts are very strong and last for a long time so it's not like they just choose to commit suicide one day.

  9. And I think that assisted suicide for people who are terminally ill is a completely different (but also very interesting) topic. I don't hink we should compare their wish to die with the deathwish of people who have severe depression or another mental illness. Because for most of us (ppl with mental illnesses) we can get better and the illness actually affects our brain and our judgement. (But there are cases where it seems like it doesn't get better and this is where it gets very difficult imo. Do we continue saving people who don't want to be saved or do we at some point accept and respect their wish and let them die? I don't know…)

  10. But, if u consider suicide without feeling any emotion or feeling of being overwhelmed, does that still mean ur in a situation of discontent? (I have no idea how to spell that last word)

  11. Love your thoughts! I believe it is a choice of sorts. It's a choice, but to someone in that mindset.. It's the only choice presented before them. Living on in their hell is not a valid choice for someone considering it. I know when I did, the only other option that crossed my mind was self harm. It was either continuous self harm or suicide. Thanks for the thoughts! I am a lot better mentally and am on my way to being a mental health counselor myself! <3

  12. Hello Kati. I wish I meet someone like you. You are amazing. I would like to know if it is fine to miss a psychologist I have worked with. Thank you.

  13. it's a very interesting question because ppl who suffer from depression often feel like they may go into like an Auto pilot state at times. My own experience it is a choice and always will be as well as what Kati mentioned you're mind isn't at it's best and you have to remember that and keep ur mind on it. This is something on many occasions had to do.

  14. Thank you for shinning your light for mental health. There has been 5 suicides at my school in 3 years. I let my school know about you and there is so much more support for individuals who feel suicidal. Thank you! Much love! 💜

  15. Hi Kati. As someone who suffers from depression and attempted several times, I agree with you. When I attempted, I 100% thought it was a decision. But in hindsight, I was mentally ill and was not thinking rationally. I was not in control of my thoughts.

  16. For myself I know: If i am seriously considering suicide, it is mental illness talking. My head is not able to get out of a dark corner and I need to get help asap. Have been healthy for several years now (therapy + medication worked on me). That being said: I had one friend, who committed suicide when he was 18. He had been in therapy for years, he changed his environment, he had a supportive net, friends that helped, a very healthy school life. The only solace I found after thinking over this for years: I think he was so gravely depressive, so painfully sad, that for him to die was the only relief. That no matter what he had tried, his depression was so severe… Sure, if a human consciously contemplates suicide, it is against our base instincts. There might be reasonable reasons like terminal illness – but I would include such deep, neverending depression. Sure, a deeply depressed person is hardly able to make a well informed choice, but what if despite therapy, support on every level, medication and a deep will to work on improving… nothing helps? And not short term, for years and years…
    It is the only solace I have. Still, I would always urge people with depression and suicidal thoughts to seek help. Maybe today there would have been a therapy that might have gotten him out of this pit.

  17. Kati can you make a video (or do you already have one) on how to reduce burnout from work? Apparently watching a video about suicidal ideation led to me dwelling on stress at my job, which isn't promising. 😁 I came home the other day and I only worked a couple hours but I lied on my couch for 4 hours and didn't move. I can't do that when I start classes up again next year and especially not once grad school starts. I know everyone has rough days but lately I feel like my job has been sucking the life out of me because I've been in this position so long and I feel I'm growing out of it. At least my therapist thinks I've grown past the minor responsibilities at my job.. I do like it and I love working with children but people I interact with sometimes mentally drain me. :/

  18. My brother passed away June 2016. He took a drastic way out because he was in so much physical and emotional pain. To this day I don't want believe he's gone.

  19. But, what if the only people that you can reach out, turn their back at you? Like, in the situation that you only have two people that you can trust and, for x motive, you end up in a big fight that last for weeks, and your suicidal thoughts are more prone to come, what can you do? I really need help with this, since it has happened to me a few times in the past and I was just a step from doing it, and I need to know what to do in those cases, if I'm in a similar situation in the future… Thanks in advance.

  20. how can you reduce such a serious health hazard to the word choice? this is completely disrespectful to those with extremely severe depression who end up in an ambulance every few months, who end up receiving ECT and psychosurgery. is it really your concern to argue whether someone who has to resort to having their abstract thinking removed surgically almost "made some choices?" no, that person almost died because of their biochemical illness. the title of this video disregards the biological basis of major depressive disorder and bipolar disorder and provides ammo for people who want to call death by suicide selfish, and blame mentally ill people for their illness.

  21. I've been suicidal for 2 and a half years and have had heaps of plans and have attempted recently …… I see many therapists but none have helped and I have a safety plan but it didn't work …. I also have an eating disorder and anxiety. I obsess over all my illnesses I watch thousands upon thousands of videos and documentaries or look at quotes and photos to do with these illnesses and I don't feel I can help it. And plus I like my obsessive nature anyway I learn so much about the illnesses

  22. Yeah, but sometimes you're not ignoring positive things, they simply are not real, they are empty unreal thoughts your brain has made up out of desperation, like hallucinations. And like them they are impossible to build on and will only disappoint and prolong suffering. So yes, sometimes suicide is a perfectly rational, correct, albeit unsociable, choice…

  23. A good choice….no one listens when you suffer and when your gone these same people just use your suicide to get sympathy for themselves..

  24. The lady talks too much like a lawyer and is full of hogwash. My mother talked about a man who committed suicide because of incontinence. I wish every lawmaker in this blessed world could experience a medical problem for a week such as incontinence before writing and voting on their anti-suicide laws. The people in the government think they know best, they don't know anything.

  25. 100% disagree Kurt Cobain. Robin. Williams. Hunter S Thompson Alexander McQueen. Don Cornelius. Ernest Hemingway. Junior Seau .Jonathan Brandis all the names of the people who are and where capable of making right decisions at one time the worst kind of sad is not being able to explain why

  26. Suicide is definitely a choice. All of our actions are a choice. There is no such thing as a supernatural force that possesses our body to pick up a gun, turn the barrel towards our head and pull the trigger.

  27. Your words of wisdom are excellent. However, after 61 years of abuse, struggle without gain and being harrassed , I have little to live for the option of suicide is really appealing.

  28. Just curious…how does the "sound mind" concept apply to being able to choose to recover? I feel unable to choose ED recovery because my mind is so messed up.

  29. Yes Suicide is a choice and I choose to not to Kill myself. Instead kill those Fight or fly. IamPrecious.My heart is rare and special 😊❤️🤞. 😘 Love ❤️ you

  30. My opinion suicide is an option and you don't have to be mentally ill to be or feel suicidal. Some people dont want to live everyday feeling some sort of pain physicaally or psychologically.

  31. Thank you for this clear video. The only thing I am not agree is when you said that we are not alone. Not all !. I am alone! If I don't pay I don't get the help if i don't call or find the therapist Nobody will do it for me, so, I AM ALONE. At least some of US ARE ALONE.

  32. I agree it is not a choice. when someone is so lost and lonely and depressed that person cannot mentally do that kind of paper work and such. I was there at one point I am better now.

  33. Some people should make a choice rather they should live or die…some depressed people hated themselves and want the pain to end quietly

  34. The majority of individuals who commit suicide do not have a diagnosable mental illness. They are people just like you and I who at a particular time are feeling isolated, desperately unhappy and alone. Suicidal thoughts and actions may be the result of life’s stresses and losses that the individual feels they just can’t cope with.

  35. I've.been trying to find anything online about. About being in recovery from long term substance abuse .. having 2 years of sobriety , the anxiety I suffer is now manifested itself into very painful head pressure, I've. Been to doctors , can't get any help, I don't know what to do anymore. I've been suffering for months,, no one understands, I do see the positive things happening in my life, I can't enjoy any of it, I dread waking up to face another day, I feel trapped, no way out, there really isn't.

  36. If we are not mentally able to make a full educated choice as you said, I can’t see why suicide would still be a choice. It's contradictory.

  37. Suicide IS a choice. People 'hurting' themselves due to delusional thinking is completely different to Rational Suicide.

    As a therapist, you should know many people are actually very happy before they commit suicide. This is because they know everything is going to be over soon.

  38. What if I’m making the “choice” because I’m tired of seeing the pain, disappointment and tears from the people around me? I’m not doing it for selfish reasons but more for the relief they can finally have when they don’t have to worry anymore about where I am or what I did wrong. And I have many chronic physical problems that I’m in so much pain and am barely walking rn. They’ll be able to live their lives unburdened. That’s not an irrational decision that I’m making with an unsound mind. The stmts are factual. I’ve heard whispers when they thought I wouldn’t. And I’ve pondered what “choice” would benefit everyone. My entire situation has a low probability of ever improving. Theirs does. How could that be faulty?

  39. I feel that it is better to say, "He took his life or She ended her life" instead of "committed suicide". To use the word "commit" makes it sound like a crime. Yes, I know that it used to be considered a crime", but the word "commit" sounds very harsh and judgmental. I am a suicide survivor and an attempt survivor, so I know how painful a person's choice of words can be.

  40. Do you feel like no one cares? Do you notice how things never get better? Are you picked on? Do you watch things falling apart on a daily basis? Do you notice how no one helps you, even though they have more than enough to do so?

    Do you want peace? Do you want to be loved? Do you want the troubles to go away? There's a proven solution. That's suicide.

    Don't tell anyone you're planning on committing suicide. Don't act sad or miserable in public. Don't do your suicide in a public area. Keep it secret. You don't deserve to suffer anymore. You don't have to. With suicide, it all goes away forever. You deserve that. You can have that. Others don't understand, but your wisdom reveals suicide is truly the only way out. Make that escape. Be finally at peace. Every second you wait, is another second you suffer.

  41. When people say that suicide is selfish they fail to realize that suicidal thoughts can convince one inflicted by them that others would be better off without them.

  42. You are right, people who take their own lives are seriously ill and unable to make a rational choice. (unless they are making a settled decision in the face of terminal illness to access 'assisted suicide.. but that is different – and even those people must undergo psychological assessment and have a 'cooling off' period.) Suicide is a massive public health challenge, and is preventable with education and support of health professionals and the public. (and the control of the means to do it eg access to firearms)
    PLEASE do not use the phrase 'commit suicide' it is pejorative and stigmatising. Suicide is no longer a crime (which is where the phrase comes from) even if it does remain a sin in some religions. PLEASE use a compassionate and non judgmental expression like 'died by suicide' or 'took their own life'. Those bereaved by suicide find the phrase 'commit suicide' hurtful and upsetting – often without realising why, until they realise its origin. We no longer say 'spastic' or 'cretin' or use the 'n' word; 'commit suicide' should go the same way. Tell your friends and colleagues, and lead by example Kati. Thanks a lot.

  43. I am depressed. My cat Toma went missing 11/30/2018 and just the pain of not knowing where he is, hurts like hell. 🙁 I’m contemplated ending my life but my parents, sister and my fur cat Sebastian are what are holding me back. How do I make the pain go away… I miss him.

  44. I was feeling really bad on Thursday and my therapist said “there is nothing stopping you from taking your life, it is your choice” so I’ve been working on a plan. Because she is right. It’s my choice

  45. Well, no because you don’t choose to have suicidal thoughts. You may decide to go through and plan your suicide, but that’s because of all the thoughts and the pain that overrides you. Without them you wouldn’t commit suicide.

  46. Okay, so let me ask you this:
    What if the suicidal thoughts are constantly in your mind. You can't get rid of them. No matter what comes into your life that is remotely positive, they're just superficial distractions. I feel that I am in sound mind, but I see the truth of things daily. I don't belong here. If there is some cosmic deity that placed me here, they made a mistake. I am that "One too many humans" on the planet here. If I'm not making a dent in the social, scientific, or physical world around me, then I am just wasting space and resources that could go to more deserving people.
    I don't mind dying, and I would gladly leave to make space for the next genius who would have the charisma to make positive change in this world. These feelings won't go away for me. And no amount of drug or psychotherapy will change that.
    Right now, I'm seeking out reasons to s live. If I don't find any by the time winter comes, I will find a nice clearing in the woods somewhere on the coldest night of the year, and succumb to hypothermia. I'm giving myself until Yule to find a reason to live. Tell me why I should.

  47. Why does everyone say suicide is bad? Is it possible that for the person who dies, suicide was the best thing that ever happened?

  48. This is a big bullshit. There is no help, they can't help me. I can't be helped. I'm trash and a loser. I'm better dead. I'm not going to live this shit just because of parents or anything else. I can't. I want to be dead.

  49. Every human is born against his will and every human has to die against his will, it is better never to be born, I sympathize with those who take things in their own hands, they were clearly forced into an existence which they didn't ask for and which they didn't want to be in. What a courage and self-sacrifice of them to make at least an attempt to escape from this malicious game called life.

  50. Is making a baby in a world of 7.4 BILLION people being of sound mind?????
    245 THOUSAND children with NO PARENTS at any given time yet humans keep porking and making more people.

  51. We should all have the right to be euthanised. No one should be allowed to tell us we can't end our lives because they think it's a bad idea.

  52. Does anyone else agree that the idea of the state making a decision for you or assigning a family member to make a decision for you is the worst possible form of tyranny? Like that’s some 1984 level shit.

  53. What if you've been so badly betrayed, over past 35 years. Learn whole life isn't what once appeared. And seen death in combat, fought this up to 52.
    Say person feels understanding of other side due to a void he goes into in his mind. A real black void possible after sleep like state of concentration. Can play in dreams, and talks to characters in dream, and in void by voice only.
    Had enough seeing literal evil in people's lies, and deceptions. Somewhat educated, has tried to leave in void or dreams somehow. But we don't control flow of oncoming information. So if you ran over a cliff, you'd awake. At least I do. So can't get outta this place (here). Won't do traditional way without further info. So im figuring it out now.
    Anyone have simular situation?
    Any advice beyond books, or educational system would be appreciated.
    Anyone else have a void black place, that shortly changes once relaxed? Yoga ppl? Same place u go to, I just operate within it's limits. Which are low, not much resolution there, but can feel more engaging due to its unfamiliar surroundings. Gets boring fast.
    Thanks in advance.

  54. If you take a narcotic which makes you act out of character, you're not not in the right state of mind. The choices of suicide are yours in terms of the physical action, but it goes against every instinct of survival because suicide is not committed by those in a healthy mental state. Just because you're lucid when you commit the act, doesn't mean you yourself chose to die. Your mind was your own worst enemy.

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