‘I Can’t Believe That You’re Being This Much In Denial And This Selfish,’ Dr. Phil Says To A Mom


I would do anything to make a better life ’cause we’re supposed to be raising girls to be adults, not to continue this, and that’s what’s gonna happen. They’ll replicate everything that they’re seeing here. And that’s really tragic, because they don’t have a chance. I can’t believe that you’re being this much in denial, and this selfish, because it’s like going down the cafeteria line and you get to the cashier, they’re the ones that pick up the tab. They’re the ones that pay the price. They’re the ones that are going to have to suffer from all the chaos, all the turmoil, all the bad modeling, all the self-esteem that is eroded among these girls from what they’re living here. They go to school and I’ll guarantee you they compare their reality to that kid’s social mask. And they’re saying well, that kid looks okay, and I know I just came from a yelling, screaming squalor where my parents hate each other and yell at each other and call each other names and I can’t even get to the bathroom and my feet stick to the carpet when I walk and there’s dead animals laying out in the yard. And we just must be trash. I’m a second class citizen. And then they start generating results that go with that personal belief. That’s exactly who you’re generating. Great job, Mom and Dad. They would be better off in foster care than they are with the two of you in this kind of situation. (audience clapping) Robin and I have two boys. And we told our boys, you have two jobs. You have two jobs as kids. Number one is get a good education. And number two is have a damn good time doing it. That’s what we told them. (audience clapping) Kids are supposed to be filled with joy. But your house has no joy. No, it doesn’t. There’s no joy in your house. My girls have never had play dates or anything at the house. Would you wanna bring a friend to this home? I mean, I’m not allowed to bring friends. Well, would you want to? No, it’s embarrassing. Ernest, well, the house has not always been like that. Oh come on! Stop saying that. (audience cheering) Are you serious? Okay, what I’m trying to say, Dr. Phil, is that Ernie has never (Dr. Phil sighing) You’re not hearing this part. No, I’m just not believing this part. You have allowed this to happen. You have allowed your house to get this way. Does she have your (beep) in a Dixie cup? What the hell is wrong with you? (audience cheering) You gotta man up and take control here. You are letting your daughters grow up in this squalor. You are a better man than that. I am. And I’ve had people come over and help her clean. And she would be crying pulling trash back out of the trash can. Get her help. I’ve tried but she says nothing’s wrong with her. She says nothing’s wrong. You have not tried to get me any help. No, you haven’t. Well, I’m going to. Well, thank you.

100 thoughts on “‘I Can’t Believe That You’re Being This Much In Denial And This Selfish,’ Dr. Phil Says To A Mom

  1. Is she a hoarder? So people live in these conditions but aren’t hoarders, just overwhelmed with the cleaning (not knowing how to tidy effectively) seems like the 4 of them aren’t doing their part.

  2. If those parents work together to clean up that house every day it wouldn't get that bad. Teamwork people! Get off of your asses and do it!

  3. Why have they not gotten in touch with the HOARDERS ppl? Looks like a classic case to me🤷‍♀️

  4. It’s so gross that they let their children live this way. Get a maid if you hate to clean. It looks like they have the money. They build a big nice home. They both chose to live this way.

  5. hoarding is a mental illness……….send the girls elsewhere to live while she gets treatment ..not just help her do a "Clean up" because it will relapse

  6. Although she is super annoying, and maybe I missed something, but now that she also works nearly full time, shouldn’t they both be held responsible for cleaning?

  7. I’ve been in foster care. It’s no cake walk but at least to some extent you’re guaranteed physical protection, food and clothes and a clean environment. That’s not to say that the family will likely treat you as less than but when you turn 18 you will still be alive and at least some what healthy.

  8. I just watched this show and these people have pretty much ruined their children for any kind of regular (notice I didn't say "normal") relationship with other people, particularly any relationship with a domestic partner. The kids have NO idea how to be responsible, non-combative human beings, because their parents are irresponsible, combative jerks. Cleaning is just the tip of the iceberg with these people. Taking them out of the home may be too late, but at least it would be something. Therapy might take years and might give them some relief. And not for nothing, but is there no extended family on either side (grandparents, aunts and uncles) who know about all this? Even if they didn't know about the pig sty of a house, how could the parents get by without detection? Amazing.

  9. This female adult….I just want to slap her and take those kids and HUG THEM! She does NOT DESERVE THESE CHILDREN!!!

  10. I want to grab that woman by her neck an her nose and drag her through her house to clean each Room until she's done then shell know what exhausted is but I'd bet she would not let it turn into that pit again. Fine example you're setting for your kids.

  11. Hold on I can relate to the parents hating each other and berated me and my sister when we were younger and we turned out fine… but not mentally sane…but fine

  12. The crowd ain’t making it any better. They’re so extra and making it worse. They’re just people that need help just like most people.

  13. The state of the house is so sad. So many people would love to have a space like that and those parents are just neglecting it.

  14. Doctors Phil if you see this just now that I love your channel and the way you teach people to live their life

  15. I’ll take those kids, I could do a better job than those parents and I’m not even anywhere as old as them. I’ve always wanted sisters.

  16. Almost 100,000 deaths and USA is opening up.
    You're all idiots. No wonder you guys have Trump as your president.

  17. They are both guilty but what is missing is, why can't the father do some of that housework? He makes messes too. The girls would probably clean up if both parents looked like they cared about how they live.

  18. I grew up like this. Its a devastating existance. I would clean but keeping up with my mothers filth was impossible. Those kids need to be rescued.
    One of the most damaging aspects is the people who do know and do nothing to help the kid. Its been very hard to forgive them.

  19. Dr. Phil: what about the children ?
    Her: me me me me me my husband sucks me me
    Dr.phil:… but…. what about the children?
    Both of them: vacant stare we have children? I forgot… but my husband sucks so

  20. Nice job Phil again missing the huge and many red flags of a narcissistic a-hole "man"! Did you get your degree from a cereal package?

  21. DO NOT PUT THEM IN FOSTER CARE 😠 I've been there and I've been in there situation and I rather be with my parents fighting then foster care it's horrible

  22. Hmmm…i think maybe she isn't understanding what Dr Phil means by "help ". I feel that she thinks "help" is someone going into her house and helping her clean it up…not mental health help!

  23. What are the husband's responsibilities? Does he have any part of the division of labor?
    My wife and I have two children in their 20's and our home and yard never ever looked like that.
    We both have full time jobs, we family camped, bicycled, snow skied, traveled, they participated in school and community athletics, theater, music etc.
    We didn't use any employed house help (3,700 sq ft, 4 bedroom, 31/2 bath, family room, loft deck etc), yard labor (11/3 acre wooded yard ).
    And my wife dealt with a brain tumor the last 11 years of her
    life.

  24. I raised three children by myself, one of whom has autism.
    I ran my own business, despite having three types of arthritis, bowel disease and hypothyroidism and I never had outside help.
    My cupboards were always full, my children were fed home cooked meals every day, the laundry was done, clothes were ironed and put away and my house was spotless.
    I do all my own D.I.Y and gardening too.
    There are NO excuses. I'm now registered as disabled and I'm chronically ill but my house is still spotless, my laundry is still done and mouths are still fed !

  25. This clip was terrible. I don't know if it's out-of-context or what. This made Dr Phil look terrible with his advice, imo. Shame, shame, shame.

  26. This is sad. They need to go their separate ways. They’re toxic for one another. Depression and mental illness is a beast!

  27. So Dr. Phil basically told her that keeping the home and being a good role model to their children is all on her and then turns to the husband and tells him to control his wife 🤔 last time I checked they BOTH live in the house and they BOTH are parents. so once again why is it just on her?

  28. Haven't seen the whole episode, but why is it all on her to clean?? Dr Phil even says to the husband…you've let her get away with it (not cleaning)?! Wtheck this is not the 1950's??

  29. Sorry they are both to blame. It is not just her fault. He sits their like a victim, the marta, pleassse. It takes 2 to tango.

  30. the audience is annoying because they clap at any definitive statement a person says as long as it is accusatory and strong. often, they are clapping at something important Dr. Phil says, but that is not always the case

  31. Here is the thing I respect dr Phil has qualifications but in all fairness he does not know this family he cannot tell who is right or wrong. Every parent does their best and I know dr Phil knows this. But TV sees different all for show I think sorry dr phil I know u mean well

  32. Why do people seem to only come after the wife? There's two parents, both with jobs , they're both to blame here.

  33. This is how my life was a child my parents seemed hate each other I wish there was a Dr Phil back then to help

  34. These parents disgust me. Playing tit for tat with each other at the expense of their kids. I'll take those girls.

  35. It's freaky how completely emotionless that woman is. I would be bawling my eyes out. She's broken.

  36. Both slobs blaming each other.I have a rocky relationship and work 2 jobs ,I have 4 children ranging from ages 17 to 18 months,chickens a dog and cat and you can eat off my floor.

  37. Why is Dr phil only blaming her?! The husband is equally responsible for the mess! He's not helping their marriage at all. They need to work with each other rather than blame each other. They need to declutter big time, get a dishwasher and help each other with chores, just 30 min a day will do wonders

  38. Why is the blame focused on the wife ? They're a family, they're both equally responsible for their situation.

  39. For everyone saying he needs to clean. She is the one who responsible for the house. He works. He pays the bills.

  40. They are both to blame. She is lazy and he needs to stand up to her or take matters into his own hands. They are both blaming each other and not doing a thing about it.

  41. Is this entire marriage only a power struggle? These two seem to be focused on proving who is the worse person/parent and doing NOTHING to change their reality. WTH?!? 🤷🏻‍♀️

  42. I grew up in a disgusting house and the effects on my mental health are very real. I refuse to let this happen to my house

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