How to get help without parents being involved

Hey everybody. Today I want to talk with
you about how to get support, Without your parents involvement. So like I said, Today I want to talk with you about how to
get support without telling your parents. I know there are tons of you out there
who have expressed this concern to me. And there is a comment that is
on one of my depression videos, I read all of the comments. I tell you. You don’t believe me, but it’s true. And someone has mentioned how they worry, That if they bring it up to their
parents, that they will, A, laugh at them. Or, B, not take them seriously. And it has had so many thumbs up and
so many comments below. And so I really wanted to
talk with you about this. Because, Although, in a perfect world, I would hope that each of you
could talk to your parents. You could be honest. You could practice
what you want to say. You could get your point across to them. As to what you’re struggling with. And what you need from them. And then they could
be there to support you. I know that not all
parents are created equal. And not everyone feels like
they are able to do that. And so, having your parents
involved may just not be possible. So I have made a list. A handy dandy list. On ways that we can get support without
having our parents involved. Now there are probably more. And if any of you have other ways
that you have gotten involved, Like if there are groups that are
available to you without parent involvement, Leave comments below. Because these are ones
that I am just privy to. And I know that each country. Each state. Each person. Has their own whole
ball of information. That you should share. Now the first one is friends. Friends are so important. I don’t care if it’s a friend online. I don’t care if it’s just one friend, Who doesn’t even live in the state. I don’t care. Friends are so important. Now I’m not just talking
like acquaintances. This is someone who is
really close to you. Who you feel like you could really
share what’s really going on. You can cry if you need to. You can call them in
the middle of the night. You can text them. You can message them. You can do whatever to get a hold of them, And they are there for you. And they listen. And they understand. It’s a great group of support right there, From friends. Now the second is Damn right. That’s where I got this
handy dandy t-shirt. If you haven’t gotten on, You should check it out. But is a great community. It’s more than I had ever
imagined it could be. The chat. The forums. The workbooks. There is so much helpful information and
support from people around the world. If you’re up at a random time of night, I guarantee someone is going to be on. Because we’re a world wide community. Which is awesome. So if you haven’t checked it out, And you’re needing some extra support, Get on What are you waiting for? Okay. And now the third is school
counsellors and teachers. Now, I am going to give this a little astric, Because this means that
if you are worrying them, And they think that you are going to harm
yourself, kill yourself, hurt someone else. They are mandated,
just like me, to report this. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t
talk to them about feeling anxious. And feeling depressed. And having anxiety about that test. And really sad that that
boy broke up with us. Or that girl broke up with us. Or whatever. We can still talk to them about that. People don’t get in to jobs like that, Without being caring individuals. Now I know that some of you are like, ‘Well I’ve got this big
ass-hole of a teacher.’ Well maybe that person
is a total anomaly. But most people are very caring. And I know that as I’m talking about this, Many of you are thinking, ‘Yeah, I do like that one teacher that I
have in second period, she is really sweet.’ Maybe we should reach out to them. And start getting some support that way. And school counsellors are great too, Because it’s free. And it’s there. And it’s during school, so your parents
don’t need to know that you’re doing it. Okay. Now the fourth, Sports teams, coaches, and
after school programs. This, for me, I will speak personally. I played a lot of sports growing up. And not so much my
coaches until high school. I had a really great coach. But, my teams were like my family. Like my extended family. That gave me a whole new group of friends. So if you are struggling to find friends, And you’re feeling like
you’re really isolated, And nobody really gets me. Find a after school program
that really speaks to you. It doesn’t have to be sports. It can be music. It can be art. It can be a volunteer program
that you’re involved in. It can be any number of things. But those are all great groups and things
that we can be involved in. So that we can get some extra support. Now the last one that I have on my list, Is suicide hotlines. Now I know some of you have said that
you have had great experiences. And you call in all of the time. Because it just really helps to get that
extra support when you’re struggling. And I know some of you have
told me that it was a little scary. And they may ask you
for personal information. But you know what. You don’t have to give it to them. I’m telling you that they will ask it, Because they want to protect you. So if they fear that you are
going to hurt yourself, They will ask you for personal information
so that they can get help to you. But you don’t have to share it
if you’re just calling to vent. And you just need someone to talk to
and you’ve had a really hard day. That’s what they are there for. I had a bunch of friends in grad school
who that was their job. That’s what they did. And they actually enjoyed it. And they said that it was really, It was always different. Always different people calling in. So they’re there to support as well. And they don’t have to
get your parents involved. You don’t have to tell them your name. You can just call and vent about
what’s going on in your life. And like always, Don’t forget to subscribe. I put out videos all of the time. Sometimes willy nilly. You never know what to expect. And you don’t want to miss it. And please please please
share your comments. What are things that you have done to
get support without your parents help? I know it can be really hard
to talk to parents. And so I know a lot of you
have already reached out. What worked for you? And if you like this
video give it a thumbs up. Because that helps youtube. And it reminds youtube that
mental health is really important. And a lot of people need the support. And hop on You can get a t-shirt like this. And you can chat with people. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. [Bottom right video] May make choices for you. They may make choices for you
as a whole cohesive group. They may share information with you, That is completely going through
boundaries that you have set up. It may be a parent that overshares about
their relationship with your step father. Or your father. Or your mother. Or somebody… Subtitles by the community

100 thoughts on “How to get help without parents being involved

  1. Well, I've been trying to convince my parents to let me get professional help for months and they literally don't care so I'm just gonna have to wait until I'm 18 at which point I'll be broke and won't be able to afford it so I'll probably just end up drinking bleach

  2. I want/need to get tested for mental health issues and get the proper help I need but my mother says that it's silly and I am just overreacting. She doesn't know that I tried to kill myself four months ago.

  3. How do you find the courage to go up to your school's guidance councellor and tell them hey, I think there might be something wrong with me?

  4. In Norway if You Are over 15 your counceler can only report to child aggencies or They can force to go to see A docktor I am thankfull cause my parents are s***

  5. I told my mum just about self harm and showed her my scars didn't told her my other struggles u know what she did or say she said if i do it again she would do it to and when i told her about my depression and that i needed help she started yelling on m for saying that i am depressed and she said i don't need help its just normal teenage stuff. I don't know i can pass my teenage im 15 and its getting worse.

  6. I talk to an older adult that I trust and love she is the most amazing supportive person! She's going to school right now to be a nurse(I think) and so she asks questions that a nurse would ask when going through struggles like depression and anxiety! I strongly advise everyone to find a older adult they trust that they can talk to about their struggles

  7. My mum is super Christian and has mental health issues and knows I do too but I tried to bring up the possibility of a different diagnosis and she claimed mental illnesses are from the devil and that by labeling myself that I was letting the devil into my life. It was really invalidating and hurtful.

  8. I hate online texting for therapy. Its hard to just type it all out and get oh so very anxious over sending it. I'd rather talk to someone face to face or over the phone and blabber my mouth and get a good diagnosis than people over in Asia looking up something for me and guessing.

  9. Hey Kati, I’m a new subscriber but have watched a fair few of your videos and I really appreciate all that you do to make info about mental health more readily accessible. By the way, I just realised this video is about 3 years old… sorry!! But I thought I’d share some good Australian resources. 🙂 Beyondblue, reach out, the Black Dog Institute, SANE & the Butterfly Foundation provide plenty of information for sufferers, friends/loved ones, carers & health professionals as well as public forums and web chat functions. Lifeline & Kids Helpline offer phone counselling (like the suicide hotline that you mentioned). AND there’s a brilliant service called Headspace, which offers free GP & counselling services to youth aged between 12 and 25. Hope this helps some fellow Aussies xo

  10. I told a school counselor… there was nothing about self harm or anything like that. But her words were " I don't care how you react I am calling your mother" and I'm like DAMN IT!!!! And that was the day my life was ruined

  11. I know my dad hates me….. and how would an 1 year old even get to a therapist without the 11 year old’s parents knowing that your gonna do something “dumb”

  12. I'm 18 and I have depression and :-
    1 :- I literally don't have any friends
    2:- my teachers hate me alot
    3:- I don't have a school counselor
    4:- I can't do sports due to my heart condition therefore I don't have a coach
    5:- my country doesn't have a suicide hotline
    6:- I am prosecuted by almost everyone because I am not a muslim
    7:- I can't afford therapy

  13. Ok so I can't really trust my school counselor anymore. I used to go their when I was having anxiety attacks but my counselor always told me I was overreacting and that it was most likely my period bc I didn't go in that often and I never looked like I was having one. They also called my mom bc of a story I was helping my friend write and threw away but they took it out and lied to my mother saying I was talking to random adults online. I don't go to the councilors anymore thank God. I just go to the nurse instaed.

  14. How can I get support if I feel like some of my friends are depressed and others are just to "far away"? I mean, they won't listen, they don't care probably. And so I am here without feeling like I can get support from any of them.

  15. I though if I told them about self harm and suicidal thoughts they wouldn’t tell my parents. I think I could just keep it to myself.

  16. I'm struggling with anxiety ptsd depression when i tell my mom something she just blows me off or makes excuses what can I do my oldest brother committed suicide almost two years ago

  17. I had a break down almost everyday because I feel so depressed with having no friends ( I highly believe I have depression ) so I would always eat food and I’m 17 st 9 and I’m 5ft5 my bmi is 40 and I’m only 14yeqes old . My mum says to me why are you acting so crazy all of a sudden and my family are so horrible to me for having breakdowns they say I’m overreacting . Now I try to control hem bcoz at that moment then I had never felt so worthless and low , so judged by my family . I felt like there was no escape and I rlly wanted to kill myself . I had never self harmed and I tried to but it was to painful and I feared that someone would see it . I’m morbidly obese and I tried vomiting but that did work . I don’t have any friends their just horrible to me . They say mean things about my weight to my face and I hate this HELL im living in . Please I’m litteraly crying as I’m writing this I hate my life I want it to end please help

  18. Thank you. This is really helpful. I don’t want my mom to know because every time she doesn’t help me and she just tells me about her struggles and doesn’t help me. She also has been rude to me because I have a phobia of moths. It also gets really hard for me during the summer because my friends don’t talk to me because their all far away from home and doing things.

  19. None of those options I can use. Each one has its own long reason. Im just ganna deal with all of til either I get a phone and have enough courage to call the suicide hotline or I go to a actual therapist when in collage or later on in life.

  20. Suicide hotlines in Croatia don't work NOBODY EVER PICKS UP, EVER, the amount of lives they could save, including mine is insane, WHY DON'T THEY JUST DO THEIR JOBS they're promising to always be there but I knew a few people who committed suicide after the hotline not picking up and it pisses me off so much

  21. Before I watch this video, I want to know if this will work for me. I'm 10 years old and I just now realized I had severe anxiety. And I try to talk to my mom about it, and she just says it's part of life. (And I know that, but it shouldn't be this bad) i tried to talk to her again today, like 30 minutes ago and she started yelling at me saying "DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW, I'M AN ADULT! IVE HAD ANXIETY MY ENTIRE LIFE!!" and then I just walked out of the room trying not to cry. And I could tell my dad and his wife, but then he would call my mom and tell her. I forgot to say this, but I found out because my friend Vanessa told me she had severe anxiety as well. And she told me about this program she goes to called STRIDE and it really helps her. And when I told my mom about it, she thinks I'm lying about it just because Vanessa goes. And my school doesn't have a counselor. Please help me! ☹️☹️

  22. I told my “best friend” everything and now she just laughs and says that she doesn’t care anymore

  23. I’m afraid to tell my family members I need help mentally because I feel like they’ll think I’m weak and pathetic

  24. I personally am in orchestra and my whole orchestra class is like one big family including our teacher, we don’t see each other as just people at school we see each other as family and they are 110% there for me and everyone in the class it’s great

  25. Also if you text 741-741 it is a national crisis text like for people who don’t like talking on the phone you can talk about anything you need to

  26. I totally isolated myself from my friends long b4 and now i have no one left… i told my parents that i need doctors help and that even i tried hanging once thats true but they told im exaggerating things and that they have already bigger issues to deal with and not to embarass them… they just wanted me toget married soon so that i feel better and bcom normal.. i have 0 friends no one to share my feelings….

  27. this is kinda long but hear me out. Please.

    So i have been really depressed for a while and i didn't really realize it until a few months/weeks ago when i was taking a bath, the way i found out i was depressed and not just sad is while i was in the bath i thought "what if i just kill myself, right now, in this bathtub, what if i just drown… sure it would hurt for a little but then it would all be over, then i wouldn't have to do this anymore" i went under the water for a few seconds but then once a new song started (i was listening to music) i heard it under the water and came up realizing what had happened, and at that moment i realized the extent of my depression i had hurt myself before, not cutting but just hitting, pinching, biting, pulling hair, etc. but it wasn't until that moment that i knew. I got out of the bath immediately because i was afraid i would do something to myself, i was ashamed at having such selfish terrible thoughts, im scared and i need help but i cant tell my mom anything! She already has to much to deal with, my older brother went to jail, and my 2 older sisters already go to therapy because of Depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and actions, and i just don't want her to think she screwed up another kid because she will only get mad. She is part of the problem, she makes me feel bad about myself, and shes mean, and neglectful, there are so many more things but i wont get into those. I just moved out of the house that i lived in for 13+ years to a smaller one in a cramped neighborhood where there aren't even any trees, most of the people who live here are new couples who just got married, there is no one my age in this neighborhood and on top of that im homeschooled. Sorry this was a long post but i need help and i don't how to get it. does anyone have any advice?

  28. I talked with friends and partners about problems until my abusive ex who messed me up a lot more than my parents. I cried a lot and my pastor would listen to me and not tell my mom but my mom finally figured something was wrong when I was crying so much and couldn't control emotions.

  29. The way I reached out for help without my parents finding out was by talking with my youth leader, and growing a strong relationship we her. She has helped me so much, when I have urges to hurt myself I call her and she always finds a way to talk me out of it.

  30. Your best point for getting real life help was seeing a school therapist which seems good except for the fact that my mom is a teacher at my high school so how the hell am I supposed to get help without my parents knowing

  31. i want to tell my school counselor but im scared that they’ll send me to the mental hospital .. i just need HELP its all i need

  32. I'm 15 and i don't want to live with my parents anymore, i feel uncomfortable every second of being in "my" house. the last 14 months I've been thinking to move out and i tell them but they laugh at me and i get angry and they laugh harder… Please Tell Me How to explain them because i want to move out or even get foster parents in another country because even the feeling that i live in Greece In a country that a war can occur in a snap of a second makes me think of ending it all…

  33. Groups that expect you to help others or that help you can be really toxic!! Don't be pressured to be in that kind of a group, I know I suffered because of it.

  34. If you're reading this, I want you to know that you can talk to me if you need someone. I hope you manage to get better /or solve whatever you're going through ❤️😆

  35. my friend said that my depression was my fault so I just don't mention it to none of my friends cause they might tell on me cause they said that if I cut again they will tell if I do I just have to suck it up and deal with it myself I guess cause I'm scared my mom will get mad at me and etc… and she is dealing with so much already and my problems. but I'm scared what will happen I could just talk with a school councelior about it and just not mention my self harm addiction I've been clean for like 3 weeks and then I did it twice cause I am dealing with a lot I hate felling this way feeling that I can't be happy like my friends so I just pretend to be happy so they don't have to worry about me just like no one even does anyway. but your video is helpful thanks.

  36. I kinda wish I wasn't homeschooled now! Because my science teacher and my social studies teachers are like my best friends… But now I can't talk to them, it sucks…

    And now that I'm thinking about it I'm so out of breath!!!

  37. My parents know I suffer from mental health issues but they don’t know it’s so bad that I have to see a counsellor. I see a counsellor at school so they don’t know

  38. My mom always says "Oh we will get you help" but if I every bring it up again she says "You don't seem like you need help anymore"

  39. Tommorw im going to go to school counselor and tell him i have been having suicidal thoughts.. But im scared because i live with my grandparents and my grandma has cancer and if i get sent to a mental health hospital im scared they won't be able to pay for it😭😭

  40. Sadly none of these options would work for me the groups thing I have tried twice and just ended up getting fake friends who pretended to be my friend. And my school dosnt have a concealer and all my friends are online which I'm not supost to have online friends or even be on any kind of social media and I'm stuck at home unless someone has to take me with them. I just wish I had someone I was able to talk to that could acsully help me, now I'm ok for the most part I'm just tired of feeling depressed is all.

  41. What if I already told my parents that I feel like I'm depressed and they think I'm better now but I still feel the same way🙁

  42. I know my problems are nothing compared to most so I don’t need reminding (it makes me feel worse) but I have so many insecurities and all that, I’m not going into detail, it just gets to me I’ve taken depression tests online and they all came with severe depression and I don’t know how to tell anyone. How else could you get help without anyone knowing? Please

  43. I can’t trust anyone..because my problems can be not good to tell anyone because it’s not only about me people hurt me and some of them close my father is so sweet I just hope he takes my talking to him about going to a therapist won’t let him think I’m ridiculous wish me luck guys!

  44. I am 11 years old and I just can't handle my problems. I once came home crying and said to my mom that I can't handle it anymore. All she said was:
    You are too much on that phone.
    Well I am sorry that I am hiding from this harsh reality.
    Tommorrow is Tuesday. First class- music. I mostly stay alone since i sit on the side and all the other kids are in a group of 2. I enjoy being alone, but I sit in the front row and behind me there is a boy that always make fun of me. He makes fun of me everyday, so how can I not want to be on my phone?!

  45. Guys I'm only 11 and I NEED help 😭
    My brain feels so broken and I haven't been acting like myself
    I need to talk to someone about it 😭💔
    Im literally just feel like my brain is broken. It's not working with me and I hate it 😭💔💔
    But if I talk to someone about it they wouldn't understand and they'll think I'm insane..

  46. i'm afraid to tell my parents, and no one knows i'm depressed. I cant sleep and they think its because im addictied to my phone???? its really hard and idk what to do
    any advice?! (btw I use my dads computer so that's why its on his account

  47. i dont what to wast your time but … so my whole life iv had a mentaly unstable brother he has a problem called pandas nd so iv had winesed some bad thing i also have some very FAKE friends and i hate to say it but that fake friend still drags me down and i have a seceret of mine but i "gay" also if any of the spelling is bad sorry

  48. When I told my mom I think I have depression, she said that it wasn't and that I was just going through a rough patch. That was months ago and i still don't know how to talk to her. I'm home for the summer from college and I literally can't wait to get out, and I feel terrible about that…

  49. When she said ‘friends’ she said to ‘open up’ while I’m sitting over here after a almost all nighter. Laughing to myself because my biggest problem is opening up. Not to mention I’m the ‘mom’ of the group so I am not really taken seriously when I hint that I’m struggling.

  50. my parents are abusive both physically and emotionally and i had anxiety and depression and told them and they got mad. now the abuse is very bad and i dont know how to escape

  51. Im almost 16 and i tried telling my mom but she just didn't seem to give a damn.. these days my mental illness got worse and worse. I just can't seem to like myself as i did before or appreciate myself about anything. I get a lot of stomach pain when im worried about the smallest thing and then i start to tremble feel dizzy and have a lot of negative thoughts and sometimes i even blackout. Someone told me that he experienced this type of stuff too and that they are panic attacks but i dont know if it is or not. And i have 2 people by my side my boyfriend and my best friend. And they always show me love and are awlays by my side but i feel like i can't trust anyone and i had no friends for 11 years because everyone thought that im weird and i got a lot of bad comments about myself and i can barely appreciate myself. Sometimes i think about suicide but i can't get any help because if i tell anyone about how i feel they are gonna feel bad about me and thats just gonna make me feel worse but im tired of feeling like this and it almost ruined my life. And i can't stop thinking that everything it's my fault. And i cant survive in public situations because i always start trembling and i start feeling dizzy. Please i need help i can't survive this anymore.

  52. I tried to show my mom that I might have depression but she just passed it off saying that there was no way I had depression.

  53. I lied when my parents got me tested a few times for ADHD and I’m pretty sure I have it and I feel like I’m going crazy, my grades are slipping and I have worsening anxiety and depression. I have crazy mood swings and I ALWAYS have to be moving. I hate telling people my problems because I feel like they are gonna say it’s not that bad. But I feel like I’m going insane and I can’t handle it anymore

  54. I am an a 18 year old young adult without a job because my mother told me I am to slow for anything and yes I have a disability but I want and need a job please help

  55. My mum really disagrees with me trialling anti depressants for anxiety, she’s making it so hard for me when it’s already hard enough 🙁

  56. I said to my mom i think might have anxiety. My mm: pffffft you do not have anxiety.

    Me: 2 weeks later thanks to Psychology today i know i have!…..wait for it………A N X I E T Y! D E P R E S S O N! and last but lot least! a little touch of eating disorder! 😀
    I need some helpppppppp :<

  57. My parent made my therapist focus entirely on fixing my sleep schedule but it's inadvertently making my depression worse…

  58. I am 12. I can’t get online therapy because it is 13+ and my mom says I am being hormonal and anxiety is normal. But it is more than that. I am dealing with self harm issues and mental breakdowns. It is a mess, I hate everything all the time and i can’t stop wanting therapy

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