How To Communicate your Needs | Kati Morton

Hey, everyone this weeks video. I hope is very helpful I’m going to talk to you about different communication techniques, how to use them and when to use them so stay tuned So like I said this week’s video topic is communication techniques and a lot of therapists would probably argue with me But I don’t like [to] tell my clients you have to do one and then you do number two, and then you do number Nobody thinks like that, right so the techniques I’m going to give you are things that you can use across all different types of communication Struggles and The first thing that I want you [to] do is To assess who you’re talking to, is it people at work is it family are they your friends? Is it your spouse is it your boyfriend or girlfriend? Who is it and How do they normally communicate with you? to that end I mean do they Always talk over you are you like hey Mom I’d really like to… and they get louder and louder until you are quiet because you’re never going to get your point across Do they pretend nothing’s wrong are they like oh, no? That’s not really a problem [I] don’t [know] what you’re talking about and they pretend that nothing’s happened Do they are they, are they really quiet, and they won’t even respond are they like passive like yeah, okay? Whatever you say, uh-huh, okay? and they want you know want to do something else change the subject. What kind of a communicator are they? And based on that information, we can use a couple different techniques now the two instances that I want to talk about today are communicating in a crisis and communicating Difficult or bad information like I hear from many of you. I want to tell my friend I want to tell [my] family about my eating disorder and my self-harm. How do I do it? What do I do okay? so those are the two scenarios the first when we’re in a crisis and The hardest thing [to] do in a crisis is what I’m going to ask you to do and that is [to] simplify it Tell them only the facts, tell them what you need from them and tell them why? That’s it Now I know You’re like that’s never going to happen But what do we have to do we have to prepare for our crises Because we all know that every once in while we’ll have a crisis and we need to be prepared for that So what I would challenge you to do right now is to write down on a piece [of] paper If I had a crisis, let’s say, I had to go to inpatient well would I want to tell them what [do] I need from them right make your bullet points and fill it out and start thinking about it because the thing that’s really tricky in a crisis is people get all caught up in the details, [but] really what they really need to know is what’s going on with us, so Let’s say it’s me, and I have to tell Sean That I’m going to inpatient So I need to tell Sean, Sean I have binge eating disorder and I have to go to treatment I’m going to be there for a couple of months, and I need you to make sure that our bills are paid and that that you can come for the family weekend, right and All I ask of you is just to listen and be supportive as much as you can Now I know I’m making it sound really simple, and you’re like Kati That’s the hardest thing that I could ever do but if we’ve prepared and we kind of know We can even read off of our notes What we need from them what’s happening stuff like that because a lot of times if we talk more we lose We lose them right? And they’ll get caught up in something else and all more questions and before we know it we’ve talked for hours We never got our point across, right? So that’s number one the crisis number two is what to do when we [have] to explain something that’s really difficult or bad, right like I Self-harm I have an eating disorder. [I] have attempted suicide. I need your help. I have really intense anxiety and I can’t sleep It’s affecting my work or whatever How do we express that? the first thing we have to do again is we have to prepare and I know it’s annoying to know it seems like it’s It’s not worth it But trust me if you are going to express yourself to someone the fact that you prepared before even if it’s just bullet points will mean that you communicate so much more clearly and you actually get to say what you meant and That can feel so much better than we actually feel like we’ve done what we wanted to do Versus have I’m sure many of you I’ve done this all the time you go into a situation And then I come out being like I didn’t say anything I wanted to say They don’t even know how I feel that was the whole point of us came together not to try to plan again and get anxious All again just to meet up with them to try to do it again, right? So if we prepare then we can stop that from happening So please prepare again if we’re going to tell someone about our struggles we need to be as The least amount of details as possible. What are we struggling with how long have they been struggling? What are we doing about it? And what do we need from them four things and The reason that I talk about those four is because that tends to be when parents come into my office that’s what they want to know What is it how long? What are we going to do about [it]? And what do they need from me, okay? So start thinking along those lines and I can give you some ideas [of] how to open the conversation because that’s usually the hardest and that’s what my clients struggle with the most and the first thing that I always tell them to do is just to make sure it’s not a stressful time [if] you if you have Any control over that make sure that it’s not stressful for you like it’s not over dinner If you have an eating disorder, and that’s already stressful make sure it’s not when all of your family’s around And it doesn’t [really] happen like Christmas time or something that’s really stressful try to make it as Regular of a night as possible like you and your mom [and] your [dad] and your sister [sitting] down to watch your favorite reality TV show or whatever and then you open up with saying Hey guys, I [just] I have something really quick. [I] want to talk to you about if that’s okay can I turn off the TV? That’s a good open or if you have a parent that you’re closer with hey mom [do] you think tomorrow we could grab coffee together? I want to talk to you about nothing to worry about but I just have something I want to talk to you about okay We’re kind of setting things up, and I always do that nothing you have to worry about because we’re not in a crisis, right? We’re just trying to express what’s going on. How long it’s been going on what our plans are and what we need from them Okay, and once we know those things we can really communicate them okay, so take some time this week maybe on Wednesday Give yourself 30 minutes and work on one or two of those points right whether you’re in a crisis We might not have as much time but we’re gonna prepare ahead, right So take a time prepare and share what’s helped you if you’ve expressed if you’ve talked to your friends and family Let me know how it went. How you did it. What was best. Maybe if you had a bad experience, what didn’t work? What did you try and it was really you know? Tricky and it ended up [not] going well let us [know] so [we] can help one another right because we’re working together towards a healthy [mind] and a healthy body So before I forget I’ve been trying to get in contact with other people and do more collaborations so if there’s someone [that] you would really like me to collaborate with Shoot them a message And shoot me a message and so I can start that conversation and hopefully we can make it [happen], right? Our YouTube community is still pretty small and don’t forget to check out my website I have a free workbook And I will have more coming out and you don’t want to miss it and there’s also forums and things like that [I’m] on Twitter @KatiMorton. I’m on Instagram @Katimorton1. I am on tumblr. I am on Facebook I’m all over so don’t don’t forget to find me and follow and let me know and ask your question So I do Q&A five days a week and under forums on my website There’s a Q&A, katiq&a so make [sure] to ask your questions there, and I’ll get them answered Is that good? Okay For some reason I feel like I’m are we conducting planes it’s like the people when the lights are broken no like like Stop who you stop as if you’re gonna run into the man with the white gloves it’s gotta be. He’s like in trouble And [that’s] [his] paybacks to direct traffic All right Hey, everyone this week’s video I hope is very helpful and that is communicat how to love another Little [Louisville] start over. How’s bad You know you really come with looks like well. I was just chewing on the words as bad

100 thoughts on “How To Communicate your Needs | Kati Morton

  1. With that said. I always have been scared to death to tell my mom hard/bad things about myself, my dad is a bit easier thou. But the first time (also the last) I more or less where forced to tell her about my SH I pushed that task in front of me like forever. Until a teacher gave me a tips that solved some of my fears. I was afraid of a Huge reaction, get lots of questions, her starring at me and be the center of attention…

  2. The tip was to tell her when we were alone on our way in the car, her driving somewhere. That made it more or less impossible for her to focus on me, no starring, and to actually grab me she needed to pull of the road. It felt a lot easier sitting there in the car knowing she where focused on something else than just me. And it went fine. 🙂 Perhaps bringing it up when your driving on a "motorway" isn't the best timing but otherwise it could be a good way for some. 😀 Oh sorry it got so long!

  3. I used to teach college composition, and you sound like at the start of a semester. What's your relationship to the audience? Are you comfortable? Will they try to change the topic? What's your relation to the topic? Are you in crisis? What's the audience's relation to the topic? Do they know about your ED? Do they have stereotypes you need to clear up before you can get to what you need them to know?

  4. I found this video very helpful. I have been keeping a journal for the last 2 months of moments when I feel my OCD and anxiety gets really bad and also for when i feel like doing a few of my compulsions like apologizing for something that i didn't do i find that it helps, but I never thought about doing this method alongside it. My family and friends know about my OCD and they are supportive of it but they know that I have an issue and sometimes get frustrated with me because of it.

  5. You're bloopers and the after the video videos make me laugh so hard. SUMMON THE MINIONS!!!!!! 🙂 haha I love the minions! That was great.

  6. You should collaborate with She's a trauma survivor and is working on becoming a therapist and runs an amazing help blog that she talks about therapy in a humorous way as well as gives a lot of advice to anyone who asks. She had deleted it but remade it and it would be awesome for you to do a video with her 🙂 She also helps a lot on how to deal with college while in recovery from depression and self harm

  7. This is one of your most useful videos! THANK YOU! So useful if I am ever in the situation where I have to tell anyone, anything,I will use this!

  8. Well, I wish my parents would hugg me! So you're a lucky girl!! Whenever I don't feel well and my parents (want to) realize that and feel bad about it, it's me who has to motivate them, they never do this with me although it's me who need motivation and huggs at those moments. So glad for you that you got a hugg!!! 🙂

  9. Thanks, Its okay, the big thing is she knows about it. when I told her, I showed her the "talking to your parents" one & she will even watch your with me when I go over to my parents house. (: My therapist wants to bring both my parents into a session to help both of them get it more. I think its as much as a process for my mom to understand as it is for me to try to recover lol and thank you. Happy to share <3

  10. How do I communicate with my parents who pretend everything is ok with me? I have anxiety and a lot of fears which influence largely my life, my dreams, my ambitions. They simply don't understand or take it as seriously as it is. Although evidence is all around them.

  11. Really great advice. A problem I had implementing this recently was with the doctor. I went to my GP with my bullet points, and he said, "No, I just want to hear things from you in your voice." I was in a severe depressive episode at the time and could barely speak, it was a real struggle, and maybe he was right in some ways to make me speak out loud, but after somehow clawing through all the barriers I'd come up against to even get to the doctor that day – i.e. waking up, getting dressed, leaving house, using transport, waiting an hour to see him – it felt like he'd just put up yet another barrier for me to try and overcome, and by that point I was exhausted. I might tell him all this at our next meeting.
    Anyway, thanks for this Kati 🙂

  12. I had a car accident last year that sent me into a panic attack and it was a bit of a mess because I tend to get non-verbal during attacks and EMTs and police generally don't know how to handle people with PTSD or other mental illness, so I made a key tag for my car keys that says: "I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and experience panic attacks under stress. During an attack, speak calmly and don't touch or crowd me. I am sensitive to loud noises and easily overstimulated. If I'm not responsive or am overly agitated, contact my therapist (info on reverse)" and then I have my therapist's name and number on the other side. This way, if I'm in an attack and non-verbal, I can just hand them the card and they know who to call and how to behave around me to keep from making things worse. I also wear a medical ID that says (among other things) that I have PTSD and that I carry a medical id card in my wallet, in case I can't remember medications or other important info under stress. It really helps me breathe a lot easier.

  13. thank you Kati you are smart i thank you for are research an videos i was a lead adman in a bipolar support group until the other admins made it impossible for us to help the people in need. i personally recommended your site too many people who needed it, again thank you

  14. Hi kati, what if your prepared and have your notes but don't actually say any of it. I wrote a note for someone at college that I could either say or give to them but I ended up walking out of the room without doing any of that. I'm like this every time I try to talk, or I either start to talk but then I like hit a brick wall. How can I overcome this feeling of hitting a brick wall? I doubt you will see this but it was worth a try, thanks, Molly.

  15. Hey Kati have you ever listened to Lisa A Romano? I think you should check her out, Both of you are very insightful.

  16. I have been in a crisis and not getting any help from friends, family, and health professionals. I am not going inpatient, outpatient, on medications, or whatever. I don't know what I need. I am anxious and distressed to the max. I have no resources.

  17. If there's anything I've learned from my personal experience with sharing my struggles with people that care about me it's that you need to be prepared for their reaction. Understand that they care about you so they might get emotional, upset, scared, etc.
    It's important to try to remember that they are not attacking you. If they get upset it's not at you it's at the situation & is probably because they are scared. If they don't want to believe it or they try to tell you that it's no that bad it's probably because they wish it wasn't happening to you & it's easier to ignore it. Remember everyone reacts to things differently and everyone has their own struggles that might affect how they respond to things.
    Hope this helps.

  18. Hi Kati, loved this video as I've just posted a video about this exact subject. I actually would love some help on understanding if changing our communication style to suit those I'm interacting with is considered appropriate behaviour or would it really be considered being untrue to myself?

  19. Kati Morton My question is why is PBD so closely associated with complex PTSD? Is this explained in the Complex PTSD video? Could you do a video on it individually?

  20. I got help by a teacher to tell my best friend about my selfharm. By then I had hidden my selfharm for almost four years, nobody knew that I was still doing it and my new friends from school didn't know at all. The teacher had seen that I was not doing well and confronted me about it but I denied everything, but she said that I could always come to her.
    So a couple of weeks after that I sent a message to her on our schoolplatform and we decided to meet and talk the next day. But I could'nt tell her so she had to guess for 20 min before she got it right, then she went and got my best friend and she told her, and that was it.
    But after that I have managed to tell several other people by myself, and I can also show my arms to a handful of my friends. So telling my teacher was just a start to living a little bit easier, I don't have to hide anymore amongst my friends and I don't have come up with these ridiculous lies why I can't go swimming and so on. I was lucky to have such a great teacher, and if you have someone to help you communicate whatever you have to say I think that's a good first step, can't rely on that person forever but it's a great way to start!

  21. I'm close to my mom and told her I wanted to see a therapist and a psychiatrist. She flipped out on me. I only told her a few things, just the basic information.

  22. I plan on giving my parents a letter explaining what's going on with me. I find it hard to explain things clearly to my parents since its so personal plus they aren't the most understanding. I've been planning and writing it for 3 years now. I plan on going to my boyfriends house, and the day I'll be going home I'll tell them to find my letter and read it. So that when I'll arrive home we'd talk to about it. I think a similar plan like mine could be useful for some of you who also have a hard time explaining in words :3

  23. If you have not done it yet can you do a video CD mental illness I am worried that I have please do it I need to know!!!!!

  24. Asking people to switch off the TV when their favourite show is on in an already disfunctional family sounds to me like a recipe for disaster.

  25. I have major depression disorder and when i speak to my mother about my situation she always suggestion something the opposite when all i would like for her to do is listen. I don't understand why she continue to do that?..

  26. My mom says being bisexual and gender fluid is just a trend. I’ve been depressed for a year and never got help, she also says this is just a teen phase and a trend. 😕 Hard to get is across to her.

  27. I haven't talked with my mom about what I've been going through yet. I've asked her about her mental health and I also asked her that if my siblings or I needed a therapist she'd be supportive and she said yes. Honestly I'm surprised she hasn't caught up to what I've been trying to tell her. I really started to think about telling her when I heard one of my childhood friends got diagnosed with depression and was getting the help she needed. I have tried to tell her I want to talk to a therapist but she said it was because I didn't talk to anyone and I just needed to make more friends and be social. After that I was discouraged but recently I've been so close to telling her. But whenever I work up the courage to tell her I second guess. I tell myself I'm probably faking it or that it's probably all the stress from school and it's not that serious. I also think about how my mom has so much to deal with that making her worry even more would just make everything worse. After that I don't tell her and just keep dealing with my problems. I'm the type of person who doesn't like talking to anyone about anything serious. I'm not sure how I'm going to tell her what I'm feeling. My family is getting ready for vacation and I know now is not the right time bug I need to do it soon. I just don't know if I can.

  28. Even tho this is from almost 5 yrs ago, super applicable, and I can't believe I haven't watched this before, I took so many notes! I definitely need to get to journaling… I had thought about doing bullet points like this for meeting a new therapist, and I kept thinking of it before falling asleep but never remember to actually start doing it. Thanks for another great video, I'm going to hunt around in the archives here for oldies & goodies! You're the best Kati! <3 xoxo

  29. I suddenly felt that I'm the one always going to see my friends but they never come and see me or make an effort and it made me feel like they're only going to be my friends if I please them and make it worth their while and do something for them. And I felt like I don't want to see them anymore and my friend asked if I want to meet up next week and I said I don't know what I want because all of the above. I think I could have said it better and probably earlier but it's so hard when you feel dejected and anxious and alone and insecure and so on. It ended up OK but she said it's better to say something sooner and not reach this boiling point but I just don't know how to do that. I can't even think clearly and think what I want to ask of her which is why I didn't say anything until I just couldn't anymore.

  30. One of the most difficult conversations I’ve had was when I told my boyfriend (at the time) that I’m aromantic. I initially told him over text, which maybe wasn’t the best idea, but let me come back to that. So I started by simply defining what it meant (not experiencing romantic attraction towards any gender), then I emphasized that it was just my orientation and it had nothing to with him, I cared a lot about him and liked spending time with him but not all the time and we talked about what kinds of things I was and wasn’t comfortable with doing. At that point I felt like the hard part was over and it would be helpful to talk in person, so we did. Sometimes people won’t understand or will take something personally, so I tried to prevent that from happening, and luckily he was understanding and had genuine (neither offensive nor defensive) questions. I know it can be hard to bring up and you may think it’ll make things worse but you deserve to have the situation known, and the other person deserves to know about it. (If it concerns them. Some people don’t deserve or need to know about what’s going on in your life and that’s fine.) Whatever happens then is what’s supposed to happen. Good luck.

  31. Thanks kati for all the support….you really helped me a lot
    My question is: does this apply to communicating needs to my husband in ptsd hard times as well?
    I'm having tonnes of flashbacks and feeling heaviness on my chest ,and it would make me feel a lot better if I could communicate what's going on more openly ….but I'm scared my relationship would be ruined and he would get angry and frustrated. Should I keep it shallow as well and give bullet points or is it different in a marriage?

  32. Well… experience is I can't open up because if I try to tell even the slightest thing that bothers me or pulls me down I just get something like "nay don't whine you're a boy" or "you just imagining things"
    When i try to explain I have a hole in my being when I should feel emotions except for 1 person they say something like "this is stupid"

    And these are family and a few of my close surrounding.

    Any tips? :'D

  33. KATI I WOULD LOVE TO CALAB PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. i know my channels not big and i havent been at it for long, but i have alot of knowledge and have helped alot of people and im even getting the oppertunity to teach my own group at my counseling center

  34. Here in Italy whenever I try to open up about my mental problems people always say: just eat! (and I can tell you, I m not skinny)

  35. I have Autism and ADHD. Sometimes I have these Autistic meltdowns, and I feel awful. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've exhausted all of my resources. I cannot control my situation. I have a therapist but I don't like her.

  36. What if I l don’t know what I need? I keep being told that I will never get better if I don’t communicate what I need from them but I dont know what I need 🙁

  37. Sometimes we don’t know what we need in a crisis. Or we need treatment but it’s unavailable because we don’t have insurance and don’t want to go into massive debt. Which the thought of that often adds to our crisis. For example I’ve been struggling with anxiety that has me housebound, suicidal thoughts, and self harm and I want treatment but have no insurance and the thought of having such massive debt especially when I am already a burden on family and unable to provide for myself just adds to the reasons that it would be better for everyone if I would just hurry up and die.

  38. Hi, Kati! Thank you for making this video. I have difficulties how to tell people how I feel without offending them or sounding mellow dramatic or being judged.

  39. Please collab with Dan Howell he once advised you in a mental health video and I know for sure you'll reach a big audience which is very important. Thanx!

  40. In the last year I had Maybe 5 probably more episodes where I screamed at my partner to please send me away. I did therapy for a little while but left do to my therapist canceling multiple appointments with next to no notice. My partner and roomate both told me i just needed to calm down and think of the kids. Problem was I was thinking of the kids and how meny times I have lashed out on them verbally because I was not dealing with my issues properly.

  41. Do you have a video about people who shut people out (ignoring messages) Not communicating. I have a near and dear friend who has shut me out for over a year and I’m heartbroken. And it’s not the first time. 💔😢 I’m invisible. 😢

  42. How do I explain to my kids 7 & 5 that I’m going to go to inpatient? they get very emotional if they know I’m going to the hospital and will break down crying instantly if I tell them I’m leaving. I went to impatient twice over the past 4 years once was for two weeks and my husband refused to bring them to “a place like that” to see me he also said he doesn’t want to be around people like that and so I was alone the entire time. And the second time I was there for less then 24 hours because I had to be rushed to the hospital for a perforated peptic ulcer and was told when I arrived that I was going to die if I didn’t get emergency surgery but a miracle happened and the doctor seen on the MRI after a second look before I was going into surgery that my small intestine flipped up and suctioned onto the hole in my stomach stoping the bleeding… I was then admitted for 10 days at that point. Since then I’ve had to get two surgery’s and was in the hospital for just under a week each time. I know I desperately need serious help but what do I do when I feel like it will cause my children trauma if i Leave? I’ve been very good at keeping it together in front of them and putting on my “happy everything if fine mask” yet m dyeing inside. Also, I don’t know how my husband will pay the mortgage or any bills at all if he can’t work because I’m gone, we have no support system around us, we are each others support system.

  43. Wow I’ve been having moments (that turn into hours then days and sometimes weeks) that I didn’t know what to call where I just started crying nonstop with trouble sleeping just very overwhelmed I guess with life and where things are going wrong or all the stress I haven’t let out and on top of that I would burst out in tears just making a doctors appointment. I guess I call that a crisis and preparing for that is awesome. When you said that I thought of making a note to myself and to someone I would vent to. I also heard from someone else that it’d be cool to make a self care box for yourself through those crisis

  44. Kati, THANK YOU very much for making these video's. Helping so many teenagers / adults. Thank you for your time and effort.

  45. Hey Kati/anyone else reading, what are we counting as a crisis? I have ideas in mind but I’m not too sure where I would differentiate a crisis to some bad news.

    One idea of a crisis I have is if I’m in this really dark, shitty place and I am in a position where I might actually harm myself or attempt to take my life, rather than just think of it. It’s weird, it can go into this grey area where the lines between being able to contain these wants and urges in thoughts and having those thoughts overwhelm me can be a bit blurry to see sometimes. Anyway, ramble aside, that would count as a crisis, right?

    What else would count as a crisis? Would love to hear back so I can be educated and know how to take better care of myself 🙂

  46. Hi Kati, I realized that the reason why sometimes healthy communication is so difficult for me is because I don' have much statistics of such language in my mind (in a Psycholinguistic class from my college I learned that humans learn to speak language has a lot to do with the statistics they collect in their brain from their surroundings). How would you recommend us to build up our "statistics of healthy communication/language"?

  47. I feel like I need help for my mental health, I wanna tell my parents but I don't know how, I think my problem is an anxiety like thing, I just don't know how to start..

  48. “First you do number 1, then you do number 2, then….. nobody thinks like that.”

    I think like that :/

    Kati’s channel is amazing! I have a much better understanding of my mental health and what to expect while trying to get through this tough time.

  49. My sister made a Easter dinner this pass Sunday. It's because I'm so scared of being judged by my family because I'm struggling with a drug addiction I just didn't show up at all

  50. i tried to open up this way with my sister n law (of 15 years) who i adore her children and it worked one time. I was vulnerable and said that my heart was moving to ask to talk, even if it was on the phone once a week to try to get to know her and then her and my brother (who use to be my best friend since childhood) moved and they had all of their friends involved with helping and she never responded to continue to talk. I feel like she punished me and I can never do right. Then the vicious cycle of anxiety and depression hits and I'm emotionally exhausted that i don't even try to reach out. But i do want to say thanks Kati for being YOU 🙂 i have been a huge fan and i appreciate all your videos of help and wisdom. I'm sending you positivity !!!!!

  51. When I told my mum about my self harming she was crying with me only because she knew the pain and self harmed herself… That's even worse for me because I feel like my self harming doesn't matter…😖

  52. what i'm always worried aout is that at any point, no matter how prepared i am, i'll start crying half-way through

  53. Just the video I was looking for! You have no idea how hard I have looked for a video just like this one.

    I tried to kill myself last Monday and I want help. I haven't been to a therapist since I was like 7 and I went the one time only for a bed wetting problem. I absolutely hated it and never wanted to go again, but now that I'm almost 21 I realize that my behavior is scaring me. I have a clue what maybe wrong with me, but at this moment I just want to know that I'm not alone, that I'm not crazy, and that I can get better with help.

    I still on a daily basis since last Monday have had suicidal ideation and it comes to me in flashes where I can physically see myself doing the action, but I have been fighting real hard just to breath and let the feeling pass. I don't know why I have gotten bolder in my attempts. I have had suicidal thoughts off and on since I was 8, but I have never physically attempted. It was like I was not me and my body was just ready to die so it grabbed the tool to do it. I really feel I need this help and I would have been on the road to treatment by now, but the same day I decided to kill myself was the same day the apartment staff decided to send my mother a 14 day eviction warning which I knew would piss her off. So I didn't tell her about my problems. It also didn't help that she dismissed me the Friday before when I try to tell her what I was feeling. We aren't close, but she is the one that holds my insurance card and social security card so I would have to tell her in order to get treatment. It also doesn't make me feel any better that when I did tell my grandmother how I was feeling and we are super close that she thought I was just saying those things to insult her. My grandfather also called me ungrateful and seeking attention. Now mind you those three instances happened before I tried to commit suicide. I wish I could talk to my father as he has bipolar disorder and will understand what it is like to have a mental illness, but he ruined our relationship back when I was 10 and I haven't talked to him much since.

    Now that I have watched this video and have an understanding for communication, even though I get very nervous talking to people about anything let alone my feelings, I can take what I learned in this video to hopefully get my family to listen to my cries out for help. Thank you so much Kati!

  54. But what if what I need is reassurance that he cares about me, but even when my mood is 'normal', I'm not even sure if he does still care about me, and if I tell him that I need to know he cares and he says he does, then what if he's only saying it because I said for him to say it and not because he actually really does care?

  55. A lot of times I'm too scared to communicate, and in those situations usually something that works is I tell the person I'm talking to basically, the kind of thing I'm dealing with, and then I have them guess what it is. It helped me come out and it also helps me talk about anything I might be scared to talk about and hopefully it help you💕

  56. Greetings from
    Southern California.
    I found your channel earlier today, YOU are amazing… I am binge watching your videos.

  57. I have panic attacks, manic depression, suicidal thoughts all the time, endless grief. I’m totally fucked. People don’t bother to help me at this point.

  58. i have been trying to make my family understand that i have been struggling with mental illness for a long long time and that im not making things up so they stop telling me im dramatic, and an actress and that i like playing the victim every time we argue and i want to make my point straight and they dont listen a damn thing, they say "you dont get anything, its hard to talk to you, i dont understand what you are saying"

  59. I haven't finished the video yet, but a lot of times I end up nonverbal or I stutter to the point no one can understand me. What I do is just write them a note beforehand. Just give them your notes!

  60. I wrote a letter to my mom to convince her to allow me to see a therapist and I took about a full week to write it so I'd properly get my point across. I will be starting therapy in the near future.

  61. I told my friend that I was diagnosed with depression, and he said that I was joking. And till now won't tell everyone about that

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