5 Signs You Are Seeing a BAD Therapist! psychology & mental health with Kati Morton | Kati Morton


Hey everybody! Today we’re gonna talk about 5 warning signs that you’re seeing a bad therapist *music* let’s just jump right into it. I heard from a lot of you that you are seeing someone who hasn’t been working for you or something bad has happened and so I think it’s important for us to talk about how do we know when we’re seeing a bad therapist and the first is that we feel like we have to prove something like they don’t really believe you when you say you’re having a hard time or you’re struggling with XY or Z and so we therefore try to make it worse because we feel like we need to prove how sick we are second and something that would drive me crazy is that they don’t remember anything they never remember what we talked about last. They don’t remember what your sister’s name was or what you did or what the whole reason that you’re here and that one thing you talked about a few weeks ago they just don’t remember anything it makes you feel like they’re not even listening. The third is one that I actually talked about in a previous video ethics and therapy but that is when your therapist allows you to text call or email them anytime and they get right back to you and the reason this isn’t good is because it actually creates a really unhealthy relationship it makes you completely dependent on your therapist versus the healthy thing which is I’m going to teach you some tips and tricks and then you go out in the world new practice come back and let me know how it goes and obviously there is the caveat that if we are suicidal there may be a safety plan in place where we call or text or therapist when we’re feeling like we’re a danger to ourselves and they meet us at the hospital or something like that the fourth sign and one that I don’t think people talk about enough is if you just chat like friends and you never work on anything you don’t actually get anything done there’s no treatment plan there’s no goals we’re not really working towards anything we’re just kind of paying to hang out and in truth that’s not therapy at all now obviously if we’ve been working with our therapist for a long time and now we’re doing well and we find ourselves having less and less talk about congratulations that means that you’ve met all your goals and it’s time to stop therapy for a while but if we’ve never worked for anything or many of our goals and we’re just chatting like friends then I think it’s time to find somebody else. Fifth and final warning sign that you have a bad therapist is that they talk about themselves a lot this is your time I know that it feels weird at first because we’re used to conversations being two way but in therapy it’s all about the client if I wanted to talk about myself what that really means is as a therapist I need to get in therapy because if I can’t give you your whole hour and focus on you and your progress that I’m not being a therapist at all hope it was helpful I get a lot of questions all the time about whether or not this is ethical behavior whether or not, they- you’re with a good therapist or bad therapist and I hope this just kind of shows you some red flags and signs and warnings to know that you need to get out and find someone better because we all deserve to get help, right? By the time we reach out sometimes we feel like we’re at the end of our rope and I just want each and every one of you to get the proper help that you need and deserve and please share this because I don’t think people talk about this enough and I think it’s important for us all to know and if you’re new here, click to subscribe and if you want more videos about behind the scenes of the therapists look over here and I will see you next time. Bye!

100 thoughts on “5 Signs You Are Seeing a BAD Therapist! psychology & mental health with Kati Morton | Kati Morton

  1. What about. 1. Frequent cancellations on day of appointment?

    2. Anger expressed when you as a client calmly and respectfully share something that isn't working for you in therapy?

    3. Anger expressed for no apparent reason when you are sharing something?

    4. Prolonged silence( almost entire session) and very few if any helpful questions or suggestions?

    5. No follow up questions about homework or things brought up in previous session.?

  2. Everybody is so critical but somebody's best therapist is somebody's else's worse nightmare. It must suck to get a client who's had many therapist because now theyre that less able to commit to their therapist as they judge more…

  3. My last therapist just said “I want you to tell yourself one thing you like about yourself atleast once per week”

    Yeah…. no…

  4. There are no bad therapist’s only bad patient’s and soon that problem will sort itself out… -anonymous

  5. He doesn't support me, but opposite party. She is putting lipshine on her in the middle of section

  6. I had a therapist that would actually fall asleep during sessions… I only saw her twice before I gave her the boot!

  7. I guess I was just seeing a bad therapist. I went in hoping to get to talk to someone who would work threw my problems with me, but the guy I talked to just gave me ways to pretend it never happened. Going to that therapist actually made me worse then before I met them.

  8. My therapist talks about herself allll the time, her experiences and other clients, I hardly ever get to tell her what’s going wrong, it’s just a complete waste of my time and I always leave feeling like shit

  9. Have they been through the same thing? That's one thing to consider. Do they otherwise just read books and do "research" and call it experience.

  10. Not all of these signs are black and white. What might feel like chat without a goal can also be developing relationship which is crucial for therapy. Also often the therapy is not always clear, the full mindful presence of the listening therapist can itself be therapeutic especially for attachment issues. Do it’s not quite as clear as this.
    What would be helpful to clients is to know how to complain to a therapist and to know it’s ok to say I don’t feel heard. – that can be very powerful.

  11. My therapist was older and every time I said anything slang wise (talk like a millennial) it would frustrate them and it would frustrate me to constantly explain what the word was even though I've used it several times and I've explained it several times, at one point we just got into an argument where she told me maybe I should just not talk that way in therapy, and thats when I knew we were done.

  12. My school therapist has almost all these 5 signs, she doesn't think I am depressed or that I feel that bad, she just thinks that I am just having a "bad day" but it's not like that, I know how I feel and I have tried sometimes to prove her I actually feel like that, therapy didn't really work for me but I was happy I had someone to talk to. Secondly whenever I saw her at school and said her "hi" she didn't always answer and she generally didn't really talk to me whenever she saw me alone she preferred talking to the other kids and made me feel like I am a ghost. Thirdly we became friends somehow and followed each other on Instagram and agreed to go for a coffee sometime, but two weeks later she unfollowed me from Instagram and stopped saying hi and was ignoring me worse than before, we had talked about that (that I feel ignored and like a ghost) before all these happen and before we became friends but we used to change the topic. Everyone is ignoring me and take advantage of my kindness but I'm sick and tired of getting fooled and treat me like I am a zero, even my therapist that I used to talk to for some time. Whenever I see her she reminds me more about how angry I feel about myself..

  13. @katimorton I’ve been to at least 7 therapists in the past 13 years and the therapists I had never worked with me on the exact thing I went to them for. Now I have a new therapist and she told me I need to be stronger to deal with this other thing i’m going through but I feel like that’s too much to expect from me and that I can’t do that because I already have this whole luggage full of emotional stuff I haven’t worked through and to carry it all at once and being “stronger“ I saw as not nice

  14. My therapist demanded a credit card for her file explaining how she basically doesn't trust me because "people seem so nice, but then they quit therapy and leave me with a bill". When I reluctantly offered my debit card, she didn't want that explaining, "People could empty out their account and I wouldn't get paid." Then she talked for 15 mins about how unfair it was and proceeded to charge me for a 60-min session even though she left me with 35 mins to actually talk. That's fraud. There's more, but she's history, thank God.

  15. I had a bad therapist where he was almost like my patient. I ditched in the middle of the first session. Never went back.

  16. I once had a therapist that tried to get me into her makeup selling pyramid scheme. There was this one time where in the middle of my session, one of her customers came in to buy makeup and never gave me prior warning.

  17. The last tip, i disagree, im not a therapist, but i wouldn't trust a therapist that haven't inexperienced what im going through and doesn't have a clue what im talking about. I wouldn't wanna sit on a couch and talk to soneone who doesn't empathize with what i talk about. On the other hand, he or she should do it only when it's helping to make a point or to give an example.

  18. Well said! As a therapist I have heard nightmare stories about bad therapy sessions. Unfortunately I think having one bad therapy session with a bad therapist turns a lot of people off to the process. I've had clients come in saying you're the first therapists I've seen in over a decade because of a bad experience. I know that every profession has weird people but it seems like therapy has more than its fair share of… let's say unique personality types.

  19. I disagree with the 4th one at some level. It took me a little over a year to get up the courage to start talking about my issues with my therapist. Before that, all we did was have different conversations that had nothing to do with why I was even there in the first place. I am not able to just open up about my issues with just anyone, and, if I wasn't able to just come and chat about different things for over a year, I would still be without any help.

  20. Well fuck I went 6-7 months after not wanting to complete psychology thinking I'm crazy not being able to understand anything about myself all to end up watching one YouTube video, this video made me actually feel what hope is and realizing how bad my psychologist actually was. So keen to finally get some actual help. I remember from the first session him saying if we ever get into a full on argument that his doing it for the best and his not gonna be angry at me for it so something was definitely wrong from the get go

  21. I had one who didn’t believe me when I said I’d been sexually abused and another who said I was delusional when I said I was being harassed by a classmate at uni

  22. What if my therapist just flat out dosen't show up without notice and finds away to say it was my fault for not reminding her I have an appointment.

  23. I had no idea that these things were considered qualities of bad therapists. I've seen 3 different therapists at this point & couldn't understand why nothing was helping. If anything, it's made my mental health worse. One of my therapists didn't take me seriously when I told her about certain things. With another, I felt like no progress was being made. I went to her office, would talk for an hour, but felt like nothing would change & she didn't tell me how I could better cope. She also never followed up on the previous week, it was like the previous conversation hadn't happened. And she also directed the conversation to things that I felt like weren't that big an issue for me.

  24. My t has a great rule about emailing. We can do it as much as we like but she will never reply. She will always read it. It helps with d.i.D to have an access to talk that we may not be aware of.

  25. I went to a therapy session actually pretty happy for once, because I was excited about starting to paint again. My therapist said, and I quote “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I have another patient who’s a REAL artist, very talented, and he I encourage to do his art. But you, you shouldn’t bother wasting your time.” She’d never seen any of my work

    I have a degree in Art, with a Painting emphasis, and was in the Honors Studio, had gotten a scholarship, and studied under Robert Bechtle. I had only stopped because of severe depression, but please tell me more about how I am talentless and not a REAL painter! I suddenly weirdly realized I had parked in a 20 minute zone, paid for the session, remembered that I had to cancel our next session, and told her I’d call back some time and reschedule. I never rescheduled. I didn’t even think she deserved the time or energy it would have taken to waste to bother getting into it with her. Asta la vista

  26. My old therapist refused to allow me to complain about my mother in any way because (in her words) 'she's a single parent' and I guess she felt some kind of sympathy for her for that reason. I didn't realize until years later that she was not supposed to do this.

  27. What if you're trying to "prove" it the other way, not to a therapist but to parents, that you're not having a hard time?

  28. I've only seen two psychologists in my life, and the second is perfect for me.

    The first one I had one session with. I said I had an issue with binge drinking to avoid feeling anxiety and particular emotions. I said I drank a lot when I had beer, but not much when drinking wine.

    Her answer?

    Start drinking wine, you'll drink less.

    WTF kind of insane answer is that?? It's not drink less, it's WHY ARE YOU DRINKING IN THE FIRST PLACE? How do we solve the anxiety?

    Fuck me, I'm deeply distrubed that there are useless therapists like that out there, severely damaging people who need help. I'm so grateful I found the perfect one pretty quikcly.

  29. OMG I've had all of these therapists. Number 5 angered me the most. She bragged constantly about herself, and her daughter. It was weird.

  30. I had a therapist who said the way I was harming myself wasn’t actually self harm. She also said (and i quote) “don’t call yourself depressed. Nobody’s depressed. It’s just our female hormones.”
    When I talked about how pressured I feel to lose weight and get “the perfect body” all she said was “well you don’t HAVE to” and laughed.
    All of my problems only got worse and I stopped seeing her.

  31. Hey Kati my therapist says I make myself angry which is bullshit in my opinion, what do you think? I hate being angry so how the hell am I to blame for making myself something I don't like?

  32. My "therpist" always spoke about how much money she Made per client. I was in a severe manic episode. Was aweful. Now i'm waiting for my insurance to come back.

  33. I live in south america and all of them act like you say because they dont know how to do a therapy maybe because they are psichologist, they do mba in clinical or neropsychology but never in therapy….so most if the people who go to therapy dont recover

  34. My last therapist kept calling me a totally different name every session AND told me to stop taking my very medically necessary meds and drink homeopathic water instead lol

  35. When I was 14 seeing a psychologist me, him and my family spent the hour talking about embarrassing times that we all farted. We all laughed non stop and the psychologist told my dad he didn't have to pay him for the hour and my dad insisted and handed over the 75 dollars and the psychologist took the money lol. No joke, this was in the 80's.

  36. What if you feel like you're the therapist and the therapist is a client? That would probably be at the top of the list of signs, right?

  37. Guy I saw always said, I looked fresh!! He would come in close, and move into touch me but didn't, he did this a lot. He sat one time with his hands around his crown jewels, with a glazed look on his face, sure he was aroused or something. He reeled me in and made me really dependent and then without any warning I was told he no longer worked at the hospital. That really put me in a bad place.

  38. I dont have a therapist yet but my friends seems to act like one..when i tell them i was depressed, they never understand my mental health but keep meddling my life. Plus they always telling me about their life, how happy and religious they are then try to apply their 'life' to me. It sickening me when i try to being alone to calm my mind but they stopped me because its dangerous sitting alone. They keep urging me to think positive and forget everything. Luckily i have that one friend that never told me to do so, all she ever did was give me a hug and spent time with me outside at 2am talked about universe,history,arts and science instead of guys,girls and relationship

  39. I actually find it beneficial to know about my therapist's experiences in life. Plus to me, it's useful to know a bit about the person I am spending hours with, it makes me feel like I can trust them.

  40. Hahahahaha the therapist I saw checked all five points. And after this video I've made my mind to not seeing him. Hahaha

  41. the first therapist i had talked about herself a lot then she quit and then the second one i got did the same . now I’m in search for a new therapist

  42. I just experienced 2 counselors whom acted unprofessional by my boundaries of wanting to come to my home they do house calls cause I was getting anxiety, one wanted to call me at night to have a counseling on the phone which I didn't feel good about, the other counselor was going to do a surprise visit without telling me, until I found out by her receptionist that she was conning over, I'd never met her, she was taking full charge and I told her she was messed up unprofessional!!!

  43. I started seeing a therapist back in April of 2018 because I was just having bad anxiety, the first couple of months I was able to talk about myself and how I felt, but my therapist would never remember anything and she always forgot everything I told her like #2 in this video, she also decided that because I had bad social anxiety and depression she diagnosed me with autism right away, and just kept telling me I was autistic so we never worked on anything because she told me there was nothing I could do. She was the only person I met that thought I was autistic and we never got anything done at sessions to help me like #4, and she would always talk about herself and her family like #5. She just tried to get me to go to a social skills group, where there were going to be a bunch of other severely autistic people, but no one showed up, so I just sat there and listened to her tell me how I am “so badly autistic” and she told me how there are some things I just can’t to, she hurt my feelings and embarrassed me, she also kept asking me about religion and she was obsessed with religion. God it was so horribly I never want to go back there ever again. I’ve talked to my parents and other people and no one thought I showed characteristics of autism but I’m not sure and now I feel so bad.

  44. All bad therapists have one thing in common: they don't feel the need to be professional. Just because someone is in therapy doesn't make them below the therapist. But, in my experience, therapists like to talk down to me and pry into parts of my life that I'm not even in therapy for and which don't require therapy. One mental health professional kept bringing up my sex life when I had no desire to talk about that with him, and another was encouraging me to violate my values in a past romantic relationship. There are so many people in the mental health field who don't have a clue how to be professional. I wish there was a tactful way to tell them "I'm not your friend and I'm not beneath you. I am your client, and I am paying you $25 a week to do your job."

  45. my therapist talked to my mom behind my back and told her everything i said in sessions and she would tell me in sessions that im disappointing my mom and not being good enough. and when i told her i was ready to move away for school she told me i couldnt do it. so i got a new one lol

  46. I'm specifically looking for nonreligious therapists. I have zero interest in what the bible says about me as a mother and wife.

  47. I had my therapist work with me when I was changing from 1 psychiatrist to another & it really helped me. I made a video about it on my new You Tube channel and I made a video about it & welcome everyone to come watch it interested. I bid u all Peace

  48. 7. When your Therapist breaches your confidentiality to another person, friend or relatives. Happened to me.
    8. Tell YOU her or his problems!

  49. Hi heres my input, my counsellor isn't great, She made an appointment in full knowledge I could not make it and then rescheduled a phone appointment during the appointment. I have OCD and did not appreciate it. Felt that would make me look bad. She's located very far away and the journey triggers depression. I am very thin and get tired easily. I find this relationship abusive. This is the last time I will speak to her.

  50. my therapist was always late, im not talking 15 mins late, she would be hours late or would call me half an hour after the session was suppose to start saying she couldnt make it, i remember one time she was already late but once she got there she sat at her desk and spent most of the rest of the hour talking about how she wanted to get her makeup tattooed on and where she wanted to go. like lmao. she got paid to be late and talk about her makeup.

  51. A therapist who is manipulative and uses victim blaming language and excuses it as "responsibility" but harms the shit out of the client.

  52. My therapist wanted me to work on trauma issues and said I shouldn't avoid it. She sent me an email about reprocessing trauma then the following week announced she was leaving to spend time with her son. Yeah, no prob. Even more evidence that I should never exert my energy sharing painful memories with a complete stranger. I had a nice rent a friend for 6 months though. I will never trust anyone again. Now that I think about it, the worst times in my life were when I was seeing a therapist.

  53. I saw a family therapist who took my parents' side and then wouldn't even let me tell my side of anything. Kept saying my mother had a right to her own truth, but yet it seemed as though I didn't have a right to my own. And I know there are two sides to every coin, but my mother would straight up lie/ exaggerate about all her issues with me, essentially gaslighting me.

  54. I have had the WORST luck in finding a therapist willing to address my BPD and PTSD. I'm SO frustrated I may stop going altogether. Why don't my therapists EVER want to talk about these conditions with me!! [email protected] 😤😥🤯😧😠🧐

  55. my therapist had a 20 minute conversation with me about politics and the investigation on Donald trump, why, because i mentioned i liked law once boi.

  56. Hey all, has Kati ever one a video on how to change therapists? I know she has done one on ending therapy full stop, but what if you need to "break up" with your therapist so you can look for a new one? How do you approach that without them knowing you think they're pretty much useless?

  57. Sigh. If I had a dollar for every time a therapist didn't believe my trauma or didn't believe I was struggling… which would usually end up in me doing worse and worse…

  58. I saw a terrible therapist on the 14th. $45 bucks wasted if not for the owner to be called down and me to talk with them as they helped out more than the actual therapist.

    This person I saw downplayed my feelings and what I said plus extremely UNPROFESSIONAL they had their pet in the room and their phone went off 2 or three times during my therapy.

    The questioned the facts I gave was absolutely apathetic to my feelings and my history of emotional abuse and after awhile I was starting to feel like this therapist themselves was a narcissist!

    You shouldn't feel like needing therapy and counseling after speaking with a therapist and that's exactly how I FELT! 😠😡🤬

  59. My unethical therapist was guilty of four out of these five warning signs.  I was expected to allot him a portion of my therapy time for him to talk about his own problems to me.  He deliberately fostered in me an unhealthy dependency upon him, and he convinced me that nobody understands me quite like he did.  But at the same time, he minimized and dismissed my problems as being no big deal, by comparing my problems to those of people who live in Third World countries in Africa.  He used that standard to question the legitimacy of my problems, but not his own problems.  The plight of people living in the Congo, who don't have enough food to eat or water to drink, did not prevent my therapist from complaining to me about how mean his coworkers were to him, or how much he hated attending staff meetings.  I've lost faith in psychotherapy altogether, but  I feel like I would now need years of more therapy to get over the harm which was done by my former therapist.

  60. My old therapist was kind of condescending. It's like, because I was autistic he could talk to me like a child. I had a friend who was seeing him, as well, and my friend said he told him he and I shouldn't hang out anymore. Also, he wouldn't charge my mom's card for each session, he'd let payments pile up and then charge all of them at once.

  61. What happens when you have a therapist using your dr. As leverage to blackmail you into keeping them in your life after they've caused you harm when you actually want to make a police report and get a court ordered restraining order on said therapist but you can't because you don't have the skills to deal with the situation because of your disabilities your in therapy for in the first place!!! As their patient I'm not allowed to change workers. I want to sue my therapist for tort of something for loss because she broke my front tooth hitting me with a police mental health apprehension which she was completely absent from even though she was the one who went to a judge to assault me for wanting a new worker. She's psychotic and dangerous.

  62. #6. They want to see you more often even though you cannot afford to do that. They even tell you to borrow money from relatives to do it.

  63. Kati I am training as a therapist and want to start making videos about therapy. My idea is that I make videos about the concepts and theory I am learning about, my experiences training, and general mental health and well-being advice. My question is: do you think this is unethical because I am not yet qualified? I feel like I have a lot to say and want to get down to making videos, but I don’t want to give bad or incomplete advice. I intend to mention that I’m in training, that I’m not a fully qualified therapist and sign post people to qualified help, but I also don’t want to wait three years (I’ve been training for a year and it takes about four years to get qualified in the UK) to start making videos. Part of my motivation for making videos is to help people find out more about therapy and how it can help them and the theory behind it for both laymen and therapists in training, part of it is just to have fun making videos (I love making videos and wanted to start a YouTube channel for years now.) What do you think, should I wait? Is mentioning that I’m not fully qualified enough? It’s not a legal question, therapy is completely unregulated in the UK and anyone regardless of their qualifications or lack thereof can call themselves a therapist or counsellor, so I won’t get into legal trouble, but it’s ethical. I want my channel to be a study resource for other trainee therapists and for people curious about therapy: I don’t intend to offer actual help with issues in my videos until I’m qualified. If you get this please reply! And if you want to collaborate in the future or see my channel once I’ve made it let me know and I will link you! Thanks!

  64. It’s not this channel btw, it’s going to be linked to my name. This channel is an old one I used to make video gaming videos on when I played games a lot.

  65. One couple therapist I went to arrived 30 minutes late, sent the therapist who had been with us to make him a coffee during the session, told me he could make my feeling toward my ex change in few months, made a general bad comment on me and when I made him notice that it was unprofessional since he didn't know me he got emotional and ranted about having a lot of clients who were happy of his job. The next time he tried to manipulate me: I had just said that I had lost my father when I was a child and the next thing he said was "I am telling you this as if I were your father" very unprofessional.
    On top of it, he reported to my ex what I had told him during a private session without telling me that he would have done it and, worse, completely distorting what the problem was. He had kept asking me questions about our financials while I was trying to talk only about emotional problems. He made me sound like I had complained all he time about pur finances when I hadn't complained even once. I had only answered his questions saying that my ex had a better situation than mine but that I was proud to contribute equally to the family finances. And he was all proud of "scolding" him in front of me thinking that maybe that was the real problem, I don't really know.
    Obviously it didn't work at all.
    We split up, even thought not just for this idiot obviously. Our emotional problems were too big.
    After some time I have known this psychologist had been sued many many times for unethical behavior (including manipulation, abusing behaviour and others)

    So, be careful if a therapist get judgmental, emotional, angry or scared and of they try to manipulate you.

    Never had this problem with any other therapist, luckily, but this one was almost ridiculous.

  66. I was going to be a therapist but she passed me to the side with crisis I know that person needed help bad but I just feel so bad and still am

  67. When I tried to talk about the main problem of my problematic situation to my therapist she told me that us teenagers only find issues on everything. It wasn't even related to any teenagers topics, wow

  68. I have seen like 5 therapists in my time and they like never believe me that I have a problem. Like one wanted to see self harm scars to prove it.

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